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Offended or flattered?

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Becky

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Whenever my drying rack gets too full, I take a heap of soap in & give it away to everyone that I work with. My boss is a quite greedy about what she takes.

For example, she was over at my house one afternoon looking at the new kitchen that we have just had installed, getting ideas for her own renovations. I gave her 6 or 8 bars of soap then. A couple of days later I took a boxful in to the office, and she grabbed another 4 or 5 bars of the OMH. Bearing in mind that the OMH is the one that everyone wants.

Now she has decided that she wants to learn to soap. This is great, I have given her links to all my favorite websites, loaned her books, etc, done everything I can to help her research & told her to let me know when she was ready & I would have her over one weekend & teach her how.

I also offered her my M&P stuff, for free, to have a try with.

Her response was no, I want all your recipes. I'm going to learn how do do it, then sell....I mean give it as gifts. (She is quite aware that I intend to sell my products)

Now, I'm happy to give anyone my recipes, they are not big secrets. I am happy to help anyone learn, as I would have loved to have someone to learn from. (In person, I mean). Her attitude to it is slightly off, is all.

Part of me thinks that I should just be flattered, give her a couple of recipes & not worry about it.

The other part of me feels kind of offended at the assumption that I would just hand over all my hours of research, learning, practicing etc, for her to be in competition with me at the local markets, where there is currently NO competition!!

Am I overreacting? Or should I, to quote my DH, just build a bridge & get over it?
 

dragonfly princess

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I know how you feel, I love helping people, but there are those that will take advantage! Go with your gut feeling
 

pepperi27

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I wouldnt give her anything because it sounds like she doesnt appreciate you at all. I dont mind to give out a few soaps. But, if she is take over ten-fifteen bars fo soap I mean c'mon? That is not right and from now on I would pre wrap the soaps so no one sees what it is and give them out individually. That way she wont know what they are. I also wouldn't give out my recipes just like that, you need to show me some initiative that your really willing to learn. If you are running a business I wouldn't give your recipes at all because those recipes represent all the hours and monies youve spent. If she really wants to learn I say let her ask questions then you help. JMHO!
 

soapbuddy

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pepperi27 said:
I wouldnt give her anything because it sounds like she doesnt appreciate you at all. I dont mind to give out a few soaps. But, if she is take over ten-fifteen bars fo soap I mean c'mon? That is not right and from now on I would pre wrap the soaps so no one sees what it is and give them out individually. That way she wont know what they are. I also wouldn't give out my recipes just like that, you need to show me some initiative that your really willing to learn. If you are running a business I wouldn't give your recipes at all because those recipes represent all the hours and monies youve spent. If she really wants to learn I say let her ask questions then you help. JMHO!
I agree!

Irena
 

Wintersnow

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I've really just started myself and plan on developing my own recipes at some point. So my opinion comes from my experience as an artist, not as a soap maker.

I am more than happy to teach a student how to use the tools of the trade when it comes to painting, sculpting, mold making. Would I let that person copy my art, my creations? Nope, not a chance and if I catch another artist stealing my designs, (and I have) my lawyer takes care of them pretty quickly.

Recipes that you have developed are your creations, your designs, your babies. If you want to share them that is entirely up to you but to have someone demand you share them ..... no way. I got the feeling this women would have no problem undercutting you once you start selling them. She may even try to claim the recipes as her own. I got all sorts of red flags when I read your post and my gut says she's up to no good.

She also seems to be a greedy little thing as well. :roll:
 
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soapbuddy said:
pepperi27 said:
I wouldnt give her anything because it sounds like she doesnt appreciate you at all. I dont mind to give out a few soaps. But, if she is take over ten-fifteen bars fo soap I mean c'mon? That is not right and from now on I would pre wrap the soaps so no one sees what it is and give them out individually. That way she wont know what they are. I also wouldn't give out my recipes just like that, you need to show me some initiative that your really willing to learn. If you are running a business I wouldn't give your recipes at all because those recipes represent all the hours and monies youve spent. If she really wants to learn I say let her ask questions then you help. JMHO!
I agree!

Irena
Me too I totally agree. Let her find her own **** well. The nerve :roll:
 

naturemama

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She's already talking "sell" when she hasn't even "made" ? Thats quick.

She sees the popularity your soaps have gained and now she has dollar signs in the eyes. I don't think you should feel (oops, this should have been "obligated") to share your recipes and she shouldn't feel entitled to them. I think you could simply say that all of your successful recipes were acquired through the work of trial and error and you want your soaps to remain unique from others and therefore, sharing them would not be in your best interest. I think any descent person could understand that. Especially when there are tons of soapmaking books on the market that have recipe upon recipe in them.

You could tell her that part of the fun of soapmaking is creating ones own recipe. If she isn't in it for the passion of making soap than she won't last long in the business anyway.
 

CPSoaper

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I don't share my recipes but will share ones I've tried before that I liked. But not usually the recipes I've worked hard to develop and use for my products. I don't share my suppliers' names either. I figure if someone wants to do what I do, then they can do what I did to get where I am; they can spend the money I have and do all the research, testing and figuring out which suppliers were best, etc that I had to do. They can put their time and money into just like I did. No one handed me any magic answers or suppliers lists or research notes etc. I found them and forums like this all on my own. Some people just want something for nothing.


From now on, I'd donate any extra soaps you have to a local homeless shelter or a battered women's shelter.
 

Becky

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Thanks guys. My first thought was to tell her no, as you say, but I couldn't help a naggy little feeling that maybe I was over reacting.

Even tho I am only starting out & have only a couple of recipes that are 'mine' created from scratch, her attitude about it just really rubbed me the wrong way.

I think I'm going to just wait her out - if she comes back to me after going thru the links that I gave her, then I'll give her a couple of nice recipes that are freely available on web pages. If she doesn't, well then the problem is solved anyway.
 
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