Let's play Good News / Bad News

[Lin19687]

@Misschief I AM SO HAPPY FOR HER !!! As a single Mum I understand what it is like to find someone like that. After my 2nd divorce I no longer look, but I am not young like your DD is.
I know the distance is far, but it could really be what she needs. New outlook, new Future ! Maybe there is somewhere in between you all could meet and hang out for a day.
I can't tell you how happy I am for her !!!
sorry it will be far but Thank the Heavens for HIM to fall to her

 

[Misschief]

@Misschief I AM SO HAPPY FOR HER !!! As a single Mum I understand what it is like to find someone like that. After my 2nd divorce I no longer look, but I am not young like your DD is.
I know the distance is far, but it could really be what she needs. New outlook, new Future ! Maybe there is somewhere in between you all could meet and hang out for a day.
I can't tell you how happy I am for her !!!
sorry it will be far but Thank the Heavens for HIM to fall to her

I know, right? I'm thrilled for her and the kids. My grandson's new school backs on to their yard; my granddaughter's new school is a 10 minute walk from their new house. My daughter will have a yard and a small garden, something she's wanted for a long time. The house is in a good neighbourhood, just a 15-20 minute walk from the ocean (technically the Juan de Fuca Strait). He's giving her the opportunity to realize her dream of opening a small coffee shop, something she's wanted to do for years.

When she first met him, she knew he was the one. It just took him a year and a half to realize it.

Believe me, we're really happy for her but we will both miss her and the kids (especially the kids) dreadfully.

 

[amd]

Good news: I now have 4-wheel drive in my vehicle and a husband who learned his lesson about "humoring his wife 'cuz sometimes she really does know what she's talking about.

Bad news: I had to get stuck and towed out of the ditch in order to do it. Back story: In May 2017 I was in a car accident that totaled my beloved car that had I bought in 2010 with cash, it was a great car. We were in the process of moving into a new house the end of the month, the sale of my house had just fallen through, I was planning a wedding for July, and leaving for a two-week trip to China in a few short weeks (4 days after moving into the new house, to be exact). Needless to say, a new vehicle was not in the budget or time constraints. My husband had just bought a '97 Blazer for his oldest son (age 14 at the time) as he would be driving at the end of summer. Well... due to the accident, the Blazer became my vehicle. I still have not gotten a new vehicle because we still have my [dang] house. Last winter the vehicle drove terrible, and I told my husband that I didn't think the 4-wheel drive was working. He kind of gave me a look like "yeah, I'm soooo sure that's the problem" and never did anything. The recent storm left us with 2" of ice on the roads and a foot of snow in the ditches. I got stuck twice in the driveway before even leaving for work yesterday morning (I should not have gotten stuck). on the way to work, I slid off the road and into a ditch - again I should have been able to get out of the ditch with 4-wheel drive. My husband had to leave work and come pull me out. He then drove the vehicle (for the first time since he bought it in April 2017) and said "well no wonder you got stuck, the 4-wheel drive doesn't work!" in a tone that made it sound like this idea had never occurred to me. I looked him dead in the eye and said "I know. I told you that last winter." Bless his heart, he said "Uh... why don't you take my jeep to work and I'll get the parts for the yours and fix it tonight." and that's exactly what he did.

So gentlemen, when your wife tells you something doesn't work, please humor her and check it out.

But still... 3 hours of my day wasted being stuck when I shouldn't have been if he had listened to me a year ago.

 

[Lin19687]

Good News : New Job has a EV charger (for my car) Free at the building next door . It is all one huge parking lot with the buildings like an L shape. I am only 6 miles from home so I would only NEED to fully charge there 1 time a week.

Bad New: My 1st day I had to charge.............. when the temp was 6 F out (windchill to make it feel like -12F )

 

[Lin19687]

Good News : SO NICE OUTSIDE !!!

Bad news : I am stuck inside at work

 

[amd]

Good News: I get off work today at 2:45.
Bad News: It's to go to the dentist for a cavity filling.

 

[Lin19687]

BAD NEWS : There was a MOUSE on my Kitchen Counter ! gross gross gross, mice poop and it ATE MY SOAP !! It happened over night because I used that soap yesterday and it was fine !
Oh....... and somewhere I missplaced my glasses that belong in the Puter room. (I have 3 par, Puter, Den, Car)

GOOD News : I just Purged anything that was on that counter got tossed. Including the dish dryer thing, I have a love hate with those- can't clean them, can't live with out them.
Other things went in the dishwasher that could be salvaged .


gross gross gross

 

[Marilyn Norgart]

having mice sucks enough but it ad to eat your soap too grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

[Lin19687]

having mice sucks enough but it ad to eat your soap too grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Lol, I almost put some soap in the Electric Mouse trap haha

 

[Trisher]

Good news: Little grandson pooped
Bad news: Toilet is plugged

 

[Lin19687]

Good news: Little grandson pooped
Bad news: Toilet is plugged

so sorry ! I know that is not a good thing to laugh at

 

[MGM]

BAD NEWS : There was a MOUSE on my Kitchen Counter ! gross gross gross, mice poop and it ATE MY SOAP !!

gross gross gross

One day at work I opened a cupboard I don't often use and found one of my lip balms with the label completely chewed off by tiny teeth! It was mint, which is supposed to repel mice, but it was also made with cocoa butter, which you could smell from a mile away, so who could blame the little guy? He's got good taste!

 

[Lin19687]

Good news : I got the lawn in back seeded and all set up and front lawn mowed and small garden area cleared out (mainly, well about as much as I will do. Also got rid of leaves and compost stuff to the dump.


Bad news. I have a bit of a headache and I have to go clothes shopping with DD. Well maybe, She already pissed me off and I pissed her off so I am NOT going is she is in a bad mood.

 

[earlene]

I'm not sure what is the good news & what is the bad news here.

I want to go to SoapCon in Sept. I missed it last year, first because I didn't register, and then because it was cancelled due to poor registration (so I felt like I was a part of the reason it was cancelled.) Anyway I missed it a lot and don't want to miss it again. So I let my husband know I want to go and found out he wants to go to Europe again this year and wants to do it for our 20th wedding anniversary, which of course is in September. He's got the month scheduled as vacation time off already.

Me, I am reluctant to go to Europe again so soon because I came back in such a depression and it lasted for months afterward. I felt at one point that I would never again go to Europe with him at all because of the way he treated me during much of the trip. In fact, I got to the point that I even talked to one of my brothers about it, which I never do about personal unhappy matters unless someone dies. So I am not thrilled about the prospect of a European trip again so soon.

But I want to go to all the places we talked about and more. I want to go to to Italy. I want to visit the Vatican big time. I want to go to Greece. I want to visit Switzerland. I want to visit Spain. And on and on.

But I don't want to come back depressed again. And I don't want him to treat me badly when we travel. It's been a rough thing just taking short trips with him since last October because I keep anticipating the same thing will occur again. It has come close, but my firm response that I won't put up with it seems to have kept it at bay. But the fear that I'll be faced with it again remains. Anywhere in the US, I know where to go off to that is safe; I can get back home from anywhere; I don't get lost finding my way home. I can walk away from him and find my way to anyplace anywhere in the US. Even if we aren't in our own car, I can manage that. But in Europe, not so easy.

We are taking granddaughter to Hawaii in July and I was looking forward to seeing how an extended travel trip works out in regards to healing this past travel discord situation. But I was hoping it was going to be the only big travel away from the mainland this year. He reminded me we went to both Hawaii and Europe last year. No discord in Hawaii last year, so maybe two big trips in one year was part of the issue; I don't know. But I don't feel comfortable with the idea of two big trips again this year. In all the years we've been together, until last October, we've always done travel together very well and frequently. It was super depressing when it went so badly. And he'd never been abusive before, but the verbal abuse was incredibly disturbing and totally unacceptable. I felt more trapped than I ever expected to feel and I am know it was because I was in unfamiliar circumstances.

I think I may have him thinking that it might be better to move the next European trip to next year instead, and I hope that sticks. After all, if he gets a new position at work at around that same time, which is a real possibility, it might be better to postpone Europe for another year. Then we can do shorter hops to places here in the States on either side of the SoapCon dates and we can get settled in a groove of happy travels again.

So still not sure what's the good news and what's the bad news. Well except one is clearly bad news and I just didn't have the courage to share it with anyone except one brother until now.

 

[Marilyn Norgart]

I have always read that when behavior happens like that there is some underlying thing--such as health issues. I am sorry to hear you feel the need to be able to escape if needed. doesn't seem like a long trip is advisable--sorry

 

[Zany_in_CO]

he'd never been abusive before, but the verbal abuse was incredibly disturbing and totally unacceptable. I felt more trapped than I ever expected to feel and I am know it was because I was in unfamiliar circumstances.

Good for you, Earlene... thinking things through among friends in this thread. I think you now know what you want/need to do. Go for it.

What stuck out to me is that you "felt trapped" in "unfamiliar circumstances". I'm with Marilyn on this. Is it possible he was feeling "trapped" too? Hence the unusual behavior? Ask him.

Also, were you about 2 weeks in when this happened? If so, plan a "rest stop" at the 2-week mark. Instead of running around seeing and doing everything you can possibly manage in a day is good way to frazzle the nerves for anyone.

Best to plan a "do-nothing" day... maybe have McDonald's in your hotel room. hahaha I'm embarrassed to admit, we did that on our European trip. In Paris, of all places. It tasted SO good! Just a little bit of "home" to tide us over.

 

[earlene]

Zany, I had not thought of that from his perspective. Not sure when it started, actually. But, yeah doing too much everyday was one of the things that created additional stress.

 

[Lin19687]

Could it be that you came back during the cloudy or cold season ?

I seem to not be able to get out of a funk come Winter where it is cloudy and dreary

 

[amd]

I had not thought of that from his perspective.

That was a thought that had crossed my mind too. Our honeymoon was our first trip together that took longer than two hours to get there, and we fought almost the whole time we were traveling - and we almost never fight. The morning we had to leave he was starting to pick fights again, and I just stopped and asked him where his anxiety level was on a scale of 1-10. Turns out that during the whole trip he was at a 10, because he was out of place. He had never traveled by plane, he had never stayed at a resort, he had never had to plan excursions... I was exhausted from fighting all week and pretty sure I was going to file for divorce when I got home, just because I didn't once stop and ask him how he was doing or if he needed a break, or even an explanation of what was going on. Our flight home was much better because all he had to do was listen and do what I told him to, haha. There were a few times I felt like he was a 5 year old kid and I was the mom - "we're coming up to the agent in customs, this is what you're going to do, this is what you need to have in your hand. Chris, are you listening? Repeat back to me what I just said... good, now where's the passport that's supposed to be in your hand?" But at least we were talking to each other!

 

[jcandleattic]

starting to pick fights again, and I just stopped and asked him where his anxiety level was on a scale of 1-10.

Once I realized this about myself, my hub and I are able to go and do things without a lot of fighting/bickering.
You describing your hub was me in a nutshell and I never understood why until, surprisingly enough, I was watching Amazing Race and my sister said she wanted to try to get on the show with me, and I was like, no I'd be a wreck! That got me to thinking about all the times I had travelled or done something out of the norm with my hub and how I was a complete and utter b-word to him. I did a lot of retrospection, and realized the reason was I was anxious and in unfamiliar surroundings which caused my stress level to skyrocket. Ever since I understood that about myself things have gotten sooo sooo much better in the last 10 -15 years or so. Sometimes I forget, and my old habits come back, but it's easier for me to recognize it in myself now.