Hide me from my In-Laws

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..........I couldn't have cared less and didn't even offer her a peanut butter sandwich...............

Sorry to hijack but I think this is the first time I have ever known someone from that side of the pond to use this phrase correctly! This has made my day, it really has!

As for in-laws, mine are amazing. Not trying to rub your face in it, but they are both so lovely and made me feel like part of the family from the very start.

Can I suggest smacking her in the cheekbone with your elbow, or is that not subtle enough?
 
Derpina, this seems to be a seriously missed opportunity. She is so predictable! I think you should start saying you are making gourmet chocolates and then just buy a few from someplace to make it seem like you are. Surely she will show up with some high end truffles to put you in your place. Anything else you want? Pretend to make it so she brings some.

And her lines are classic; the weight question was a no-win because if you husband said yes, there would be a comment about good because he needs to and the no got him the "shame" comment. She is using all sorts of old fashioned comedy but in a mean-spirited way. I suppose if you boned up on the old shows, you'd be able to predict her and if you want to zing her, you'd be more prepared. Hmmm, did you read, "The Help"?

EG- a few of us actually do know how to speak proper english but it seems more few and far between than it ought to be. Grammar Nazi's Unite!
 
Got me, DeeAnna! On FB, one other woman and I have debates all the time on proper usage and we try to one up each other. I admit I don't pay as much attention to capitalization as I do to the grammar. Zing!
 
Sorry to hijack but I think this is the first time I have ever known someone from that side of the pond to use this phrase correctly! This has made my day, it really has
Couldn't have cared less, right? That's one of my BIGGEST pet peeves when people say "could care less." If you could care less, YOU CARE. IT MEANS YOURE SAYING YOU DO CARE!!!! COULDN'T CARE LESS IS THE INSULT! BECAUSE IT MEANS YOU COULD-NOT-CARE-ANY-LESS!

Whew, sorry. Thanks.
 
Irregardless, orientate, "prolly", irrevelant (instead of irrelevant), there has been a recent spate of "flustrating" and on and on.....

I'm sorry I stepped in and diverted from the sad but fascinating tales of woeful in-laws. please carry on.
 
your MIL sounds like my mother. she was just here visiting me for 4 days and I think I wanted to be disowned. just...breathe through it, and.......count down slowly for the sweet release of freedom!

what I did was to invite other people over (cool, chillaxed ones) so they can be sort of a buffer.....
 
Irregardless, orientate, "prolly", irrevelant (instead of irrelevant), there has been a recent spate of "flustrating" and on and on.....

I'm sorry I stepped in and diverted from the sad but fascinating tales of woeful in-laws. please carry on.

No, surely not flustrating? I pacifically don't believe that one.

*Newbie - I should use some of those tips for next time. Not sure if the truffles would survive 5 mins without being eaten though :think:
 
Okay, I'll toss my hat in the ring but it doesn't hold a candle to most of these stories.

The first time I met my MIL was at dinner just before our wedding (mistake number one- meet the to-be-in-laws well ahead of time because you get a LOT of insight into your to-be-spouse). I love milk so I ordered a glass at dinner and she looked at me and said, "You'd better be careful of that or you'll end up-"-and then she blew her cheeks out at me, indicating "Fat". Nice to meet you too!! They refused to stay at our house after our baby was born because she's already been through all that and didn't want to listen to any crying, nor was she excited to have a grandchild because she wasn't ready to be a grandmother.

SHe is now my ex-MIL but I am still good friends with my ex and I see my ex-IL's whenever they are in town. They are pretty nice once you figure out what they're about.
 
My former MIL never once greeted me on the phone in all the years we lived together before we got married. And, the co-habitation wasn't the issue, she was just a ***** to me.

Funny thing is the ex went off the deep end and now she doesn't speak to him, but I get her. Goodie me...
 
OMG, Derpina, why do you still let these people into your house? Are they at least nice to your kids? I know, they're family. You have to try to play nice. I guess I'm just lucky. My family, my in-laws, my extended family--we all get along. I wish you could have that, too.
 
My in-laws are pretty awful too; my FIL told me a year ago that he wouldn't give an F if I killed myself. Nice, eh? =/

I would straight up ask them what their problems are, honestly. It's your house after all. If they're acting like a bunch of rude, critical you-know-what's, then call them on it. Sounds like someone needs to. They are even monitoring your calories? I'm sorry, but I would tell them, in no uncertain terms to get the hell out of my house. In-laws, immediate family or whatever; no one deserves to be treated like that in their own home (or anywhere else for that matter). They need to either learn how to behave respectfully or stay elsewhere if they want to visit.

Don't just "bite the bullet" and try and "get through it." These people need to be called out on their behavior. It isn't acceptable; you shouldn't stand by and allow them to think that it is. I'd show them the door and tell them where the nearest hotel is.
 
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For those who do not think quickly on their feet (myself included) one can always come back with the line, "And your point is?" And it sounds like they need to be aware of what point they are making. Sounds like they are just using the same old insults because they always have.

And now I am PAINFULLY AWARE of my grammar and punctuation. Thanks!!
 
And now I am PAINFULLY AWARE of my grammar and punctuation. Thanks!!

Aren't 'Grammar Nazis" wonderful? >.> The main reason why I tend to stay away from public forums. I (personally) have a learning disability, and sometimes the "easy stuff" is very hard for me. It took me until I was 29 to fully grasp the difference between "your" and "you're." It took till 32 to get "its" and "It's." I only just now, at 34, get "Whose" and "Who's." Commas...are still a bit of a lost cause, though I do get them placed correctly most of the time, which is good since I am a writer.
 
I'm sounding the all clear. The In-Laws have left the building.

I hear ya about not putting up with things I shouldn't have to but hey, it's family. Whatchagonnado? I did lay it down a few years ago when they started on my kids and my family. After the dust settled it was all sorted. Now the shots are more bad sitcom kinda shots. I just lay low, keep a poker face and then wet myself laughing when I leave the room. If I thought her comments held weight I guess I be devastated. Some are just so bad they really do crack me up. Oh and yep, they are way nicer to the kids now lol. Thanks one and all for keeping me sane during the latest visit. I almost fell off my unicorn when I saw all those soaps. You :D all :thumbup: rock :clap:

So, anyone know how to make a shadow box?
 
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