28- ) It's not soap, it's art! Don't judge me! -
You're a friggin soaping whirlwind. You watched all the videos, read all the blogs, and have books full of dutifully taken notes. You're ready! Three months later, you've made innumerable batches of soap. You've mastered countless techniques. and impressed all your family and friends with your soaping prowess....
.... Only to discover that every single batch you produced is soap you can't use yourself.
Everyone else can, sure. Heck, even martians can use it! But if you do, it will cause a funky alien rash, dry you out like old parchment, or give you skin so tight you could play babaloo on it.
So when family and friends ask why you're sneaking into the soap aisle to buy a bar of the sacrilegious commercial soap, you lie like a rug and claim it's art. You were creating soapy art. You were mastering the craft, yeah, that's it! You never intended to use it yourself, because you've been so busy creating soapy art for your friends and family's enjoyment, that you've had no time to focus on making the very specialized, nearly impossible to create, soap you need for *your* skin.
In the meantime, you sneak back into newbie class, hiding behind shades and the hood of your sweat jacket, learning how to make basic, no frills soap so you can try to discover the Holy Grail of soap.
All the while eyeing pictures of your wall racks full of colorful soaps you can't use.
They're art, I tell you!
Don't judge me!
BB champagne was one that I love. 
