Do I Dare Say The Name?

[GuarinoSoaps]

Ok so, on my relentless quest to find more soap **** and learn more about soaping I signed up to two forums, one was here, which I absolutely love, one was ---- (I've heard somewhere on here that people really hate mentioning it) but holy crow, all they have been doing on there is bashing me, telling me I can't give opinions because I haven't made soap yet...

I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience...

 

[cm4bleenmb]

Of all the forums I looked at, this is the one that has consistently been the friendliest, most informative, and just downright pleasant to belong to. And general Google-ing of things I want to know almost always points me to a post on this forum, while I rarely get results from the others. Granted that may be partly due to some settings they can control, but either way, I think it still tells you something.

This forum is now my go-to source for advice and opinions. Hang around, I think you'll like it here.

 

[GuarinoSoaps]

Oh I definitely already like it here. I think everyone here is friendly and helpful...friendly forum members is my number one choice. I don't want to belong to a forum that berates people.

 

[boyago]

And general Google-ing of things I want to know almost always points me to a post on this forum, while I rarely get results from the others. Granted that may be partly due to some settings they can control, but either way, I think it still tells you something.

This forum is now my go-to source for advice and opinions. Hang around, I think you'll like it here.

It's kind of funny, often when I google soap things I get links straight back here answering what I was looking for.

 

[boyago]

It wants me to have an account to follow the link, but that's hilarious to leave the forum you regular to troll people on another forum. It's actually how I joined here all the good information I was finding was from here so I thought I should join up and drag the forum down a little with silly banter and meme posts of the Dos Equis guy.

 

[Derpina Bubbles]

I end up back here via Google too most of the time. I think it's because people on here actually take the time to answer each others questions and help each other out. I haven't looked at the other forums because this is the first one that I was directed to each time when I looked things up when I got back to soap making this year. I feel like stalking another forum now :shifty:

 

[PinkCupcake]

I looked at a couple of other forums before I joined here. On one of them, I saw people giving out misinformation. At least here, someone else will come along with a correct answer to a question. And everyone has always been welcoming, friendly, and helpful to me. I love it here!

 

[GuarinoSoaps]

I think i'll be sticking to this forum only from now on. Can't handle all the drama.

 

[Obsidian]

I belong there and while I have never posted there, I do read the other threads and have found everyone to be pretty friendly. I read through your thread and it seems to be a fair amount of confusion and assumptions that ended up hurting your feelings.

I know its hard no to take things like that personal but they really are trying to help. When I first joined here, I was jumped on by multiple members and I too got defensive then negative. I almost left but decided to stick around because I really did need the info provided.
I'm really glad I did, I see now that people were just trying to help me and I was offended because I had my ideas shot down when I was hoping to be embraced by all the crazy soapers on here.

To defend those trying to help you with expenses. No one was trying to dictate how you should spend your money but they are right that you should keep it cheap until you know if you even like making soap. What if you go and buy $400 worth of scent and expensive butters just to find out you hate making soap? I know you say you like shea but have you tried shea in soap? I personally see no difference in soap with it added, its just expensive label appeal.

As far as how people reacted about your "web site" most experienced soapers who sell get irate when newbies come along talking about selling. It happens here too. I've seen people ripped for planning to sell their soap when they are inexperienced or new to making it. It might not seem like it but there is reason for it. Its safest to not even mention selling until you have numerous batches under your belt.

I do have to say that coming here to complain about people who are unable to defend themselves or explain their point is childish. I hope this thread gets locked before it can continue.

 

[Derpina Bubbles]

Well had to sign up to have a good look and it's certainly a different world over there. More what you'd expect in a forum. Should come with a warning sign "Here be trolls". Heaps of friendly people but in just the 4 threads I read I saw rude comments. I'd be hard put finding a thread here with same. I'm staying here (sorry guys, you're stuck with me).

 

[Relle]

I hope this thread gets locked before it can continue.

This thread won't be locked, there is no reason for it to be locked.

 

[pamielynn]

I've been a member of the Dish since '07. They can be pretty rough, but usually for a good reason. Best soaping information on the web, though. I trust those people implicitly when it comes to soapmaking.

 

[GuarinoSoaps]

It had nothing to do with that entire thread. I actually had just commented on another thread of someone's asking how to get a grey color in CP soap. It was this thread that really ticked me off:


I just am the type of person to not like negativity. There shouldn't be any on a forum...but the unfortunate truth is...there is and always be.

 

[Lin]

I didn't get any bashing but I think I got a fair amount of "don't do it" in my first thread here. And then those naysayers were nowhere to be found after I posted pictures of my success... But of course I was new and the only thing people knew about me was what I posted in that first thread.

 

[Derpina Bubbles]

I've been a member of the Dish since '07. They can be pretty rough, but usually for a good reason. Best soaping information on the web, though. I trust those people implicitly when it comes to soapmaking.

I get what you're saying. On each of the threads I looked at the helpful posters outnumbered the cranky few by far. I just like how you don't see a lot of cranky on here. It's like the forum is infused with chamomile or something. I'll try looking at more threads and checking it out more. I can admit to be overly stupidly biased in this case because I've gotten so much out of this forum in such a short time. I'm tend to suffer from sudden onset loyalty.

 

[Hazel]

I started to write a reply and got distracted. I wandered off to take care of a few things, came back and found several more replies on this topic.

Guarino -

I thought most of the the replies you received were friendly and informative. They gave some great advice so don't throw the baby out with the bath water. (Yes, I couldn't resist using that phrase. ) There are many wonderful, helpful people there and you'll find the site a great resource. I stay mainly on SMF but I occasionally visit over there. Mainly I just PM a couple of members but I'll sometimes read a topic or two. Also, there have been incidents on this forum where replies can be perceived as rude and critical. And there have been a few times where I know I've been rude and critical but it's generally in response to someone who's disruptive or insulting other members.

Please don't be offended and I'm trying to say this in the nicest way - I know you're upset but you're doing the same thing here which made you angry over there. You're bashing another forum and making negative comments. Please let it go. As you said, there is always going to be negativity on forums. There is going to be negativity everywhere. I understand how you feel because I nearly left this forum a few years ago because of derogatory comments made to me. It happens on every forum and in the real world. I struggle every day to "check my ego at the door" and try not to allow comments to upset me. I try to consider the source and not become defensive. Unfortunately, I don't always succeed.

I removed your links because I don't feel it's necessary to perpetuate antagonism between the forums. There are good people over there and there are good people here. You can learn a lot from both forums. Please accept the advice they gave you and ignore what isn't helpful.

Keep positive and think about all the lovely soap you'll soon be making. :grin:

 

[TVivian]

Hazel for president! Haha..

I have to say that just because someone says "don't do it" or "that won't work" just means it didn't work for THEM. It doesn't mean they're being negative or coming down on you. In the end you have to use your judgement because what works for some does not work for others.

 

[Lin]

since I quoted "don't do it" I'm going to assume that was at least partially to me? Thats not what I was referring to by "don't do it" but rather people saying I wasn't ready for what I had planned to do. Again, this was only my first thread/posts here and so I understand no one knew anything about me or what I knew or had done prior to my post. I did have an eye roll moment about how I continued to update the thread and posted pictures etc and the naysayers were nowhere to be found. Its not like it honestly bothered me, Id have to go back and read the thread to even see who were saying don't do it. I received no bashing, and was commenting on how I received no bashing as a newbie here.

 

[TVivian]

Lin I for sure May have been one of the "naysayers" on your first thread. I saw your ambition and I was so worried for you that you'd be terribly disappointed. Because most new soapers could not have attempted what you have successfully done. I (politely) added my two cents based on my experience and was thrilled for you when I was wrong. I made sure to tell you your soaps looked nice

That comment wasn't only directed at you as I too have gotten several "don't do its".. And I did and it turned out fine! But in the moment I didn't like being told.. Now I realize that people are just trying to help and keep people from wasting money and being disappointed. That's my goal for sure!

 

[boyago]

since I quoted "don't do it" I'm going to assume that was at least partially to me? Thats not what I was referring to by "don't do it" but rather people saying I wasn't ready for what I had planned to do. Again, this was only my first thread/posts here and so I understand no one knew anything about me or what I knew or had done prior to my post. I did have an eye roll moment about how I continued to update the thread and posted pictures etc and the naysayers were nowhere to be found. Its not like it honestly bothered me, Id have to go back and read the thread to even see who were saying don't do it. I received no bashing, and was commenting on how I received no bashing as a newbie here.

I think the tradition is to give a pass on the first 205 posts..., ut oh!

Internet semianonimity is a fickle beast. I still in wonder of an ocasion when another user publicly bashed me, accused me of having not idea what I was doing, and I should not attempt to do the things I was asking about. He then appologized in a PM and encouraged my endeavors but continued to bash on the forum. I later met him IRL and he was nervous and afraid to talk to me. People are strange. Me too. I've had really intense reactions to things that bothered me for days from people saying mean things on line that really should have just let slid off.