One year away

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Techie Joe

Well-Known Member
Apr 1, 2018
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I haven't been on this site in around a year, it's not that I haven't wanted to be. One of the Admin's told me I was "irritating", among other things, but I am certain she was put up to it by another, as we never really had any problems with each other. I didn't think I had irritated anyone here, except one user who I suspect simply disagrees with me on something and doesn't want to hear what I have to say about it. Nobody ever asked me if I found her irritating. I tolerated her because in life we sometimes meet people who do all kinds of things, even things we find distasteful or appalling. People need to know that nobody learns anything when people are agreeing with each other all the time, its the comfort zone.

When I see the daily email from Soapmakingforum the sickening feeling returns from being called irritating. Normally I would not expect that to still make me feel bad a year later, I just remember I was already dealing with some emotional wreckage at the time, and had to make an effort to get through every day, so maybe it affected me more because of that. I have had several breakdowns in the past, and its very difficult going through stuff when nobody asks you how your doing, and nobody volunteers to just listen to you. Its just stuff guys have to deal with, we don't have the same supports that women do so we learn from very early on to overcome things on our own, which isn't easy.

So now my account has been restricted for over a year. When I try to view a post or mail, it either redirects me to the home page or goes blank and I need to refresh several times, only to be redirected back to the home page again. How am I supposed to contribute to the site like that? I have also been told that this site is for Ladies. If some people don't want Men here you should make it clear from the start, not just waiting to make things difficult for them. But remember you will be losing the wisdom on many subjects we can contribute to.

I haven't made any soap in about a year either, my heart wasn't in it for the reasons I just described. I think I may make soap again sometime as I find it therapeutic and interesting from an Engineers point of view. I'm a qualified software tester now, and when I tried to read the "help" post about the new calculator, I was repeatedly redirected. I didn't have the motivation to chase it down, and in this case the restrictions against me worked against the site / calculator aswel.

I'm kept busy caring for my elderly Mother who has Alzheimers, and getting going again with music, at least I'm getting better with that.
So to all those lovely people who chatted with me here and gave my wacky ideas support when others would not, thank you for the brief but meaningful friendship. I hope to return one day, unrestricted, to share some spectacular new soap design or method, and maybe a tune or two.
Much love from Ireland :)

[creating thread: attempt 4]
Hey Techie, I wondered what happened to you!

Sorry to hear that you haven't been happily making soap
(there's something wrong with you after all! ;):p)

All jokes aside, I reckon the forum issues are more of a glitch or oversight - hopefully they can be sorted out for you (and you can get back to soaping, without the sinking feeling :thumbs:)
This forum is NOT just for ladies!!! Many valued members are men! We ladies just happen to outnumber you. You men bring a whole different perspective to the forum, and I am quite happy to learn from y'all. Welcome back!

I was having similar trouble with SMF a while ago. Had to uninstall (or whatever you call removing from my hard drive) and reinstall. Fixed it right up. But you probably already tried that.
I also wondered where you have been. Hopefully you can get back to your soapmaking and many kudos to you for taking care of mom. Believe I know well and making soap can at least distract one for awhile.

Also I will add this is Not just for women, there are some wonderful contributing men members here.

Even though it is just a forum, mean remarks and restrictions do tend to affect the person for a long time. My daughter went through that because she was restricted from a forum because someone disagreed with her. Two years later it still bothers her.
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