Ideas for meaningful gift

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by lenarenee, Dec 11, 2019.

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  1. Dec 11, 2019 #1

    lenarenee

    lenarenee

    lenarenee

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    Truth be told, we've been fighting a battle since the first day of school this year. Our kiddo has been targeted by multiple boys, physically and verbally. It got to the point where she wouldn't tell us things, and then told us things were better. They were not.

    Things kind of exploded last week, and our little one confided in a 3rd party who of course spilled the beans.
    We went directly to the school who brought in a team of people to support and protect her....devised a plan to give her control. I mean....these people jumped right on it.

    Aside from heartfelt notes of gratitude, I'm wracking my brain on what I can gift them to not only show our appreciation, but to hopefully keep them encouraged throughout their teaching career - because they really do have a very, very tough job.

    Thank you.
     
  2. Dec 11, 2019 #2

    Misschief

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    So sorry to hear the kiddo's having a rough go of it this year. Not easy for anyone involved. I'm also encouraged to hear that she, and you, have the support of the people who need to know. Hopefully the boys involved are getting the guidance they need, too. TBH, I think anything that says "thank you" will be appreciated; I really don't think it will matter what the gift is. It's knowing that it comes from the heart.

    If I may share a brief story, I still miss the thank you Christmas ornament a member of our church gave me after a particularly difficult, and ultimately joyful time in her and her husband's lives. After 20 years, each Christmas I still see that ornament on our tree even though I no longer have it. It's the thought behind the gift that means the most. Yes, there's a much longer story there but I don't want to take away from what your "little" is going through. Just know that anything that comes from the heart will be treasured.
     
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  3. Dec 11, 2019 #3

    BattleGnome

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    Like Misschief said, I think anything you choose to give will mean a lot. If you want an extra impact maybe the little one can help make something or at least make the card you include. I don’t think it has to be anything big.
     
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  4. Dec 11, 2019 #4

    shunt2011

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    I'm so sorry to hear of your little having such a difficult time. But, glad to hear the troops marched in to protect and help. I agree with the others that anything you give would be appreciated. I would put together a small basket of your homemade goodies and a handmade card from your daughter.
     
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  5. Dec 11, 2019 #5

    Zing

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    So sorry to hear. There are so many times I wish I could switch places with my boys. I'm glad to hear the adults are on it. Don't knock a heartfelt note. I've kept notes and emails. You can also send a copy to their principal or supervisor. Best wishes,
     
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  6. Dec 12, 2019 #6

    dibbles

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  7. Dec 12, 2019 #7

    lenarenee

    lenarenee

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    Those are wonderful! They put Hallmark to shame! There's actually quite a few that are very appropriate - thank you!
     
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  8. Dec 12, 2019 #8

    dibbles

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    You are very welcome!
     
  9. Dec 12, 2019 #9

    Curtis

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    Bullying sucks. It sounds like your daughter is quite young - and being targeted by boys...that's just terrible.

    Not knowing any specifics, I'd suggest you look into Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for your daughter unless she has physical limitations. Generally martial arts will instill confidence in kids which is certainly a good thing. Often this alone will stop bullying. Bullies are generally selective with their targets. Children with more self confidence are generally less likely to be the target of bullying. Again, generally - your specific situation may be different.

    I would suggest Jiu Jitsu specifically because that is really the best form of self defense, especially for girls/women. I have done BJJ for many years and I have 2 daughters who also do BJJ. BJJ is the great equalizer, it's like a super power. Practicing BJJ will change you physically and emotionally. Kids (girls especially) who learn Karate or TKD will gain confidence but in a physical altercation with a male, it's false confidence.

    It's certainly good to hear the situation is under control for now. With an eye toward the future, Jiu Jitsu is my strong recommendation. And I'm walking the walk with that one. In terms of a thank you, most everyone has a boss. A heart felt letter of gratitude to the supervisors of those who helped might help them in the long run.
     
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  10. Dec 16, 2019 #10

    lenarenee

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    She's in middle school - so dating and boys will be in her future. I will definitely look into the Jiu Jitsu - it's great to hear the reasons why you think it's suitable for females.

    Her confidence was just fine....but she's had a loving, nurturing, safe life. There's a whole different confidence that comes from facing challenges and trials and overcoming them. Another reason I really like the idea of Jiu Jitsu.

    As supportive as the school has been, there is a problem with the program they use in that all the discipline is done in private. So a student may get pushed down the stairs, but no one sees, or knows if discipline, or what discipline ensued after that. My girl has a very strong sense of right and wrong so after she and others were targeted.....they never had proof anything was being done...except the word of the school. When the behavior continues....it makes them distrust the process.

    So I lost my temper a bit and just went to school and told them to permanently remove the offenders (six of them in one class!!!) from her group and her table because this restorative discipline is punishing her by making her sit at the same table, and work on projects together. I also told them that SHE will tell the TEACHERS every rule and policy broken, and an incident report made for every time they touch her or insult her. Yes.....LOTS of paperwork. Also suggested they just split them up into other classes to reduce the "group herd" power they've enjoyed.

    The teachers were actually quite relieved; it's less work for them trying to constantly monitor them. Our little one is mature, focused, well behaved and always willing to help others, so the teachers like having her in their class.

    In the meantime; they vandalized a table in the lunchroom with a crowbar.....and it's on video. She saw them get in big trouble and might be expelled. (but it begs the question.....why do they get expelled for breaking a table, but not for pushing her downstairs? Simply the video evidence versus her word? Or....was the accumulation of behaviors?)
     
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  11. Dec 17, 2019 #11

    TheGecko

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    Heaven forbid we should ‘shame’ them by holding them ‘publicly’ accountable.
     
  12. Dec 17, 2019 #12

    Millie

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    Wow, I'm sorry your girl is going through this. I'm glad you lost your temper a bit - good momma!

    I'll second martial arts for girls (and really for all kids - it teaches a person the confidence and discipline to protect rather than bully). Good luck to your daughter - she is so lucky to have you standing up for her.
     
  13. Dec 17, 2019 #13

    Karla C

    Karla C

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    This makes no sense. Previously you stated no one knows if the kids get in trouble yet she saw them get in trouble later?
     
  14. Dec 18, 2019 #14

    lenarenee

    lenarenee

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    That's right. In the span of 4 months, there were no obvious signs of discipline; no removal from class, no stern words, no sending to the principal. We had to (ours is not the only student being harassed) we met with the school big wigs to ask what the heck was going on because nothing is improving. The process was explained, including how privacy policies work.

    Then several days ago she saw them attack a table with a crowbar and hammers, got a teacher (no way was she taking on 4 boys with tools) and when he saw the holes in this massive wooden table....he lost his temper and yelled at them to clean up the mess, they lose tool privileges for a month, had to turn themselves in or they qualified for expulsion. (The teacher probably got in trouble for losing his cool).
     
  15. Dec 18, 2019 #15

    TheGecko

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    Do what you do best...make soap. Something special, something luscious and luxurious. Wrap the bars in wax paper with cute stickers. But it in a gift box or gift basket. Add a fluffy wash cloth and hand towel.
     
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  16. Dec 24, 2019 #16

    zanzalawi

    zanzalawi

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    you make awesome soap! soap and a personal note is pretty much the best ever!
    so sorry your daughter is going through this, i hope things are wonderful for her after the holiday break. she's so lucky to have a mom who is advocating for her like you are! i thought school was hell when i was going but i think its so much worse for this generation :(
    thank you @Curtis for the BJJ explanation- i've been looking into martial arts a little bit for my daughter but really had no idea what would make any better or worse than another
     
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