How to Shower

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by MzMolly65, Feb 27, 2014.

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  1. Feb 27, 2014 #1

    MzMolly65

    MzMolly65

    MzMolly65

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    Not sure if this has been around the board yet already or not .. so here goes.


    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

    Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get ...in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Rinse off. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake man bits at her making the woo-woo sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your man bits and scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your hair with same soap. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Make a shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire man bits size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake man bits at her and make the woo-woo sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

    If there is anyone who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you.
     
    Dennis, neeners, fuzz-juzz and 4 others like this.
  2. Feb 27, 2014 #2

    Dennis

    Dennis

    Dennis

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    And you continue to pursue us!
     
    Pepsi Girl likes this.
  3. Feb 27, 2014 #3

    MzMolly65

    MzMolly65

    MzMolly65

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    go figure .. some crazy biological thing there
     
    Pepsi Girl likes this.
  4. Feb 27, 2014 #4

    hmlove1218

    hmlove1218

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    Lol that's so true
     
  5. Feb 27, 2014 #5

    neeners

    neeners

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    BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! hilarious!!!!
     
  6. Feb 27, 2014 #6

    Pepsi Girl

    Pepsi Girl

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    [​IMG] and age doesn't change a thing well maybe I laugh a little louder;-)
     
  7. Feb 27, 2014 #7

    Derpina Bubbles

    Derpina Bubbles

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    Ha! Love it. I used to be like that when I 1st got married. Now I still wash like a chick but woo-woo like a dude. Return fire is the only answer. Throw down your squeegees and shoot em with the Tilex until they clean up. Get em ladies.
     
    MzMolly65 and CaraBou like this.
  8. Nov 2, 2017 #8

    Zany_in_CO

    Zany_in_CO

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  9. Nov 2, 2017 #9

    annalee2003

    annalee2003

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    “Woo - woo sound”
    Haha! I almost laughed out loud at that one and woke the kids up, darn you!
     
    Zany_in_CO likes this.
  10. Nov 2, 2017 #10

    Zany_in_CO

    Zany_in_CO

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    Me too! I was laughing out loud through most of the second half!
     
  11. Nov 6, 2017 #11

    Cindy2428

    Cindy2428

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    Very funny - thanks for taking the time to write it.
     

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