Ok, at least this I know I can help with. I use this exact mold because it's nice and sturdy unlike some others, but I prefer silicone because there is no throw-away. But it is definitely tough to unmold without bending/cracking/leaving some soap behind.
1) turn it upside down on top of a cutting board or whatever surface you plan to cut on.
2) if possible, get yourself "higher" so you've got some leverage. I actually put my cutting board down onto a chair so it is lower.
3) push firmly and evenly with the flat/palm of your hands around the edges and in the center of the mold. I usually start with one firm press in the center, then corners, edges, and center again. Repeat until you pop it loose.
It sometimes helps to break the suction on the sides so if your soap is firm enough, squeeze and pull gently at the sides when the mold is upright. I alternate between pushing on the upside down mold and flexing the sides gently when it's upright.
You can visually see when the mold is breaking loose of the soap, as the darker spots will "lighten" as the mold lets go of your loaf.
It takes patience... and practice... the last few loaves I've done have been gorgeous, but the first few were hideous, and everything in between was progress.
Good luck with unmolding, and I hope you grow to love this mold as much as I do!
EDIT: I'll leave the oil question to someone with more oil ratio experience, but in my own experience with a couple different recipes this mold just seems to have REALLY good suction... and the rigidness of it gives you a nice square bar, but it just doesn't seem to like to let go. I think it's just this mold in particular because I've tried other molds with no problem (but they didn't look as nice).
