was hoping for a better start

[pulselesstea]

Hey all -

i was just now reading the "read first " section and saw this :
Yes, we are a family here at SMF. Everyone here is welcoming and friendly. It doesn't matter if you have been making soap for 30 years or just started thinking about making soap 30 seconds ago. It doesn't matter if you are a "newbie" or you have a post count of 2500. Don't be afraid to ask questions. There are plenty of very knowledgeable soapers here very willing to help you out.

that's all fine, and i wish it was the case but my welcome to this forum was anything but "friendly and welcoming"

Sometimes mistakes happen (in my case it was one "necropost, and i won't get going on how unnecessary of a thing that is to get upset over.) I visit the forums often while researching, since it often comes up in google, when my account was created it was to thank someone (which got me the flack.)Before this i did not peruse the "rules."
As a generally nice to people (surprisingly even on the internet) person, I was quite upset, and actually genuinely felt bad for the rest of the day. I figured i'd come back and hope i just caught people on a bad day.

I've been soaping for over a year, and I have lots of time to dedicate to it, which is great. I soap in small batches for the creative aspect, as I do not sell and have enough soap to last me generations.

 

[dixiedragon]

I checked out the post in question. I thought shunt was polite, but I can see how it felt a bit abrupt to you. IMO, the issue is that sometimes we have a new member who will bump multiple old threads, and it is annoying b/c it pushes new threads down the list. So I think the mods try to catch that first necropost to try to head that off.

I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt. I'm sure that was not the intention.

 

[lsg]

I have pm'd you with a reply. Our forum is one of the friendliest on the net. We welcome new members, but do ask that they read the forum rules. It is easy to misread someone's reply on a forum. I think the better course would be to forget the bruise to one's ego and go forward without malice or complaint. If one feels that they need to "complain," then it is better to do it privately in a pm .

 

[Obsidian]

I have to agree, shunt wasn't trying to be mean or hurtful. I visit a ton of forums and none of them appreciate necro, many are very nasty about this and come down badly on newbies.
This is by far the friendliest forum I go to, everyone is respectful to each other but the members are very passionate about soap and can sometimes come across as gruff when they are just trying to help.
I too had a difficult start. My first post didn't go over well. I was excited and doing things wrong, I was called out on this and I felt demoralized so I argued, a lot. I left in a huff but I really needed help so I came back and never left. My bullheadedness was ignored or forgiven and never mentioned again. It did hurt though, really made me feel bad to be told by multiple people that I was wrong but I was and I needed to know that.

 

[Steve85569]

Welcome to the forum!
We love soapy pictures so if you have any I'd love to see them!
It'll be great too see what you do in the monthly challenges too!
Steve

 

[lenarenee]

You are still welcome here and I hope you try posting again. This is a wonderful group, with quite a variety of personalities that are wonderful to learn from - sometimes I learn the most from those I disagree with.

Your first experience here resulted in a misunderstanding, but you and the forum deserve a second chance, and this is the kind of place that offers that!

 

[pulselesstea]

Thanks for the kind words.
I'm really not trying to start and argument (and Shunt wasn't the only person.) It's not a big deal, I'm just an advocate for niceness (even in myself, i'm definitely not always great at it.) And i felt the need to post this in my introduction because it was the introduction i got.
I wasn't meaning it as an attack - which now i realize it could appear that way as Shunt was the only one who replied publicly. Anyways, that's not even it - I guess it's difficult to express ones anxiety and feelings in a public place. I suppose i was just hoping for a bit of support and to feel less anxious about posting in the future.
So, sorry. and thanks.

 

[The Efficacious Gentleman]

I was one of the people who sent you a PM, just so others aren't left with half a story, things alluded to but never made clear. But I really fail to see the point of this post.

You spoke with both Shunt and I in PMs and, if you weren't satisfied, you should have carried on with PMs. Your start here WAS friendly and welcoming - it might not have been exactly what you wanted, but as you were posting in a way that wasn't correct it needed to be pointed out to you. Just because you don't see why something is wrong (or if you didn't even bother giving the rules a quick once over) doesn't mean to say that the Modmins should just let you get on with it or risk ruining you day.

The rules are enforced evenly by the Modmins and anyone necroposting would get the same response as you did. They have done before you and will continue to do so after you. If a post is in the wrong section, we move them. If a spammer comes, we clear it. I for one will not mod to a lesser extent for fear of hurting feelings and I find this thread to be nothing more than attention seeking and pot stirring.

 

[kc1ble]

I was one of the people who sent you a PM, just so others aren't left with half a story, things alluded to but never made clear. But I really fail to see the point of this post.

You spoke with both Shunt and I in PMs and, if you weren't satisfied, you should have carried on with PMs. Your start here WAS friendly and welcoming - it might not have been exactly what you wanted, but as you were posting in a way that wasn't correct it needed to be pointed out to you. Just because you don't see why something is wrong (or if you didn't even bother giving the rules a quick once over) doesn't mean to say that the Modmins should just let you get on with it or risk ruining you day.

The rules are enforced evenly by the Modmins and anyone necroposting would get the same response as you did. They have done before you and will continue to do so after you. If a post is in the wrong section, we move them. If a spammer comes, we clear it. I for one will not mod to a lesser extent for fear of hurting feelings and I find this thread to be nothing more than attention seeking and pot stirring.

Well this sure seems friendly to me!

 

[The Efficacious Gentleman]

Well this sure seems friendly to me!

I am sorry if it comes over that way, but we (the Modmins) do a heck of a lot of work in our own time for no other benefit than to help keep the forum running smoothly, so getting a post about how it hurt someone's feelings when it was simply pointed out that necroing is not the best (and again, not reading the rules is not an excuse) makes it hard to put on a Disney Land grin. I end up then just being factual rather than friendly.

 

[Susie]

Hey, and welcome to the forum.

I did not read your first post, nor do I have any intention of doing so. The past is best left there.

However, I am one of those people that do not like it when people necropost. Here is the reason why: Every few months we have some of the same questions get asked, and answered. This is good. We have new members (and lurkers) who NEED that information! Truly! And they need a NEW thread to show up with that question. It scares them off to try to read a thread that is 50 + pages long. They are much more likely to read and respond to a thread that is 1-2 pages long.

Do they need the info in that 50 + page long thread? Probably. Are they going to read it? Probably not. You are one of the rare people that will go back and read old info when you are new.

The modmins are wonderful here. They keep this a friendly, happy place for me to visit. They do a thankless job with amazing efficiency and aplomb. When you've been here a while, you will begin to see it, and appreciate it.

 

[lsg]

I think that I will close this thread. There was no deliberate attempt to hurt feelings or to make anyone feel "put upon." We regret that anyone has that impression.