Respect, Diversity, & Potential Shifts in Forum Behavior

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by CaraBou, Jan 11, 2015.

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  1. Jan 12, 2015 #21

    Susie

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    I am not challenging you in any way, lsg, I respect what you admins and mods do as well as the way you do it. Problems are handled in a timely and professional manner that keeps this forum a warm and friendly place to discuss soap and such. However, is there any way I can get a firmer idea of what is OK, and what is not?

    I think we(the folks who have stated such here) all agree that within a context of a "getting to know you" thread in the general forum, that just a simple statement of "this is who I am" is in an acceptable place and is OK. But, if I am wrong, I need to know that so I can avoid issues in the future. I value having a safe and friendly forum enough that I will happily modify what I think is OK to post or not OK to post. But I need a firmer definition of that to not cross that line.
     
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  2. Jan 12, 2015 #22

    JustBeachy

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    As long as no one is berating anyone's choice of life, religion, etc, I just can't find any reason why people can't express who they are. Personally, I haven't seen any kind of a problem on this forum with "taboo" items being discussed. Religion, Politics, Sexual Orientation.

    I believe in God. It's not really a concern of mine what you believe in.
    I used to be so Republican, I made Reagan look like a liberal. Now I'd say I'm closer to being an anarchist, cause I don't like any of them.
    I like women! That's what works for me. What ever works for you is cool, just don't ask me to change to meet your desires.

    Point is, we should all be able to express ourselves in an open manner, without fear of reprisal or people taking a "unwarranted" offense. If you're offended because someone is gay or doesn't believe in the same God you do, then it's probably time to take a closer look at your own thought process. On the other side of the coin, when people tell me my beliefs are wrong or silly, I don't get offended. I just laugh at them. :)

    We're becoming so **** politically correct, we're losing track of common sense.
     
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  3. Jan 13, 2015 #23

    lsg

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    I went back and read over the posts and I have to say I probably jumped to the wrong conclusion. So as long as everyone can remain civil and understanding, I guess the thread is good to go.:grin: This is open discussion after all. I was wrong, but I assure you it wasn't the first time and probably won't be the last time.:crazy: Sorry about that.
     
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  4. Jan 13, 2015 #24

    Dorymae

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    Truer words were never spoken! Unfortunately common sense is not so common anymore.
     
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  5. Jan 13, 2015 #25

    LBussy

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    As the troublemaker who may have started all this I just want to say I agree with everything people said here and I WANT TO KEEP IT THAT WAY. "Here is my wife and I" is somewhat different in the delivery and impact vs. "I'm straight and here's my wife." No I don't think there were any nasty PM's. The nature of this forum may be such that such would not happen about this, but imagine if I said "I am an NRA member and here is a picture of some soap I made for after shooting" ... if someone was vehemently anti-gun. Ya know?

    I don't want people to hide; I also don't think overt announcements about political, spiritual, sexual, racial, or ... um .. that's all the ones I can think of ... are appropriate here. I mean, like everyone said, there was nothing mean about that thread. But LOOK at all the feelings it's brought up. It would take exactly one insensitive person to derail that thread into something not intended. I'd just really like to not ever see that sort of thing here, so I said something and then followed up in a PM to try to make doubly sure I was not misunderstood.

    Group hug y'all!
     
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  6. Jan 13, 2015 #26

    shunt2011

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    I see no problem with folks just showing and being proud of their families and who they are. I personally don't care what religion you are or are not or what your sexual preference is or isn't. We are all adults here and as long as we are all respectful of each other and don't start hating or getting out of line all is good. This is the general forum and as long as all guidelines are followed and it stays a discussion it will remain. If it should get out of line in any way it will be closed. So, please just be respectful and kind. If you don't like something being posted then don't read it and move on. There are a zillion topics on this forum so there is something for everyone.
     
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  7. Jan 13, 2015 #27

    Jstar

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    After reading again and again, I had a very long post written..however I'll just shorten it down a bit..I myself was not offended..I thought it was odd how the subject came up, but I wasn't offended..I just kept reading about all the wonderful ppl on this forum.

    I have friends in all walks of life, all orientations and beliefs..all colors and cultures..I got no issues with them. I have my beliefs, and my personal standards and Im comfortable enough with them till others do not bother me..Im nobody's judge.

    My time here on this forum has been short but I have become so close to you all here till I couldn't make it a day without checking in to see what all my new friends are doing..IMO, thats a good thing, and I'd be mighty sad if anything changed here..I have seen more respect on this forum than hundreds of others I have been on..and Im not goin nowhere...just so's ya know..

    I lubs you all!!

    There's my 3 soapbubbles on the subject..so read 'em n weep :lol:
     
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  8. Jan 13, 2015 #28

    lionprincess00

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    I have no friends.
    I like soap.
    I'm not interested in anyone's sexuality, except my own when the time arises
    :thumbup::wink::cool:

    I am secretly interested in cmzaha's Willy warmer thread, though I'd never post the fact.

    Wait a minute...
    :silent:

    Edit to say I was trying to lighten the mood. I think it's obvious this is one of the tamest and kindest forums ever. I've been in some mean ones too, and if you've ever been in a birth forum you'd totally understand... whew!
    Any who, I wanted to chime in and be light hearted.

    Edit again, is it me or has society as a whole become too sensitive we feel the need to say sorry for everything? I felt bad for being silly dad gummit lol!!!

    Ok, carry on.
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2015
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  9. Jan 13, 2015 #29

    Susie

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    I love this group of folks! {BIG HUGS}!!!!! People who were given a perfect opportunity to act badly, and everyone, EVERYONE chose to act like reasonable, respectful adults!!!! And I am so very happy to be a part of it!!!!!!
     
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  10. Jan 13, 2015 #30

    IrishLass

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    Right here, silly!
    Aha! I knew it! Leave it to one of the troublemaking wet-shaving dudes! ;) :mrgreen:

    Seriously, though, I just want to say how proud I am of y'all and the maturity and respect that has been shown here, one towards another, in being able to agree to disagree and/or to live and let live. We have a great forum family here, and we really want to keep it that way.

    I also want to reiterate what my fellow moderators ISG and Shari posted above- that as long as everyone remains civil and understanding and respectful of the forum guidelines written here: http://www.soapmakingforum.com/showthread.php?t=13 ,then the topic will remain.

    If not, then... well..... as my mom used to say, "Don't make me pull this car over and come back there...."


    IrishLass :)
     
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  11. Jan 13, 2015 #31

    dixiedragon

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    I've actually seen people talking about making soap from fat from a deer they've harvested.

    I think people on this forum are really good about not saying anything if they don't like something on a thread. The only things people post about vehemently here are safety and accuracy of information regarding soap, lotion, etc. I haven't seen any heated discussion about (for example) using animal fats or using organic products, but I have seen people get vehement about using preservatives in lotion.
     
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  12. Jan 13, 2015 #32

    The Efficacious Gentleman

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    I do think it is different if it is at least a little bit on topic.

    "Here's some soaps I made for my church..........." is different to "I am a Christian and here are some soaps............". The first one has a context aspect (who we make the soap for can often be an important part of the message) whereas the second example, the inclusion of religion really brings nothing to the mix.

    "here is some fat rendered from a deer that I (or someone else) hunted.........." is different to "I like to hunt. Here is some soap.........."


    That's because we know our priorities! :-D
     
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  13. Jan 13, 2015 #33

    reinbeau

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    Sorry, but I gotta discuss the elephant we're all ignoring. This is exactly why we're having this conversation. "I can't be the only lesbian here" added nothing to any discussions. I'm sure there are many. And gay men. Don't care who they sleep with. Please show me your soap.
     
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  14. Jan 13, 2015 #34

    LBussy

    LBussy

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    Well I dropped my soap ...

    Oh come ON, that was funny! :clap::angel:
     
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  15. Jan 13, 2015 #35

    ariella42

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    But wasn't the discussion about getting to know each other? Putting a face to a name, etc? It wasn't a thread for people to show their soap or specifically talk about soap. A lot of people showed their spouse or significant other and mentioned who they were. Why should she be any different?
     
  16. Jan 13, 2015 #36

    snappyllama

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    I agree.

    If I had seen everyone with red hair on the introduction forum, I would have said "I cannot believe I'm the only brunette here". There is nothing odd or inciting or off-topic about that at all... Wondering if you're the only lesbian after seeing pictures of only mixed-gender-couples is the same thing in my book.

    There really isn't a point to reading an introduction post if you will be offended when someone tells you about herself. Let's keep this forum a respectful and welcoming place where we can all share our love of soap and equally feel comfortable talking about our families when it comes up.
     
  17. Jan 13, 2015 #37

    Saponista

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    I agree with snappy. Let's keep the forum a warm an welcoming place.
     
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  18. Jan 13, 2015 #38

    lenarenee

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    That's not an elephant for me, its a non-issue - even for a soap forum. Forums are made of people, and people come in many packages.

    I remember reading that; remember thinking how brave that person was for posting it, and my respect level go sky high. I don't remember who it was. Don't care enough to go back and look.
     
  19. Jan 15, 2015 #39

    CaraBou

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    So glad I posted this. And it has nothing to do with being right or wrong. I knew we could handle what would come up, and we would be better for it all the way around.

    Thank you Lee for joining in. I never saw you as a troublemaker, though I do think we love our bad boys here :razz:

    That last statement just goes to show how easy it is to stereotype. I meant it, but only as a joke. Smiling is good.
     
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  20. Jan 16, 2015 #40

    Ruthie

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    I've written probably 4 replies to this thread and ditched every one of them. Part of the reason is that I can't bring myself to read all these posts, so I really do not know what has been said.

    So that is my disclaimer. But the fact is, I am here to share and learn about soap making and the like. Sometimes I do share a bit of info that reveals about my life and beliefs. But that is just in passing. It matters not to me what your lifestyle is about. If you are nice to me and my soap making friends, I'll be nice to you. If you are not, I just may call you out (unless someone has beaten me to it.) But we can go on from there and learn together.

    This forum is the most polite I have found on any subject. That speaks volumes about the people here, and I admire you for it, whatever your lifestyle or beliefs.
     

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