Life Changing 3 Weeks

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Zany_in_CO

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Dear SMF peeps,

My dearest hubby of 44 years, Jim, passed away peacefully at home at 7:43 AM on Wednesday, November 7. At age 87 he was older than I am by 12 years and ready to let go of this life on Earth. He was in no distress and had no pain. He was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer on October 18, 2018. It had spread throughout his body. His life expectancy was 3 months. He had been having back pain since he fell a year ago and injured two discs in his spine, so we assumed the pain he had been having on and off since then was due to that. We never suspected cancer.

On Thursday morning, November 1, he woke up with intense pain. He was transported to the ER where he was diagnosed with a lung infection/pneumonia. He was treated at Sky Ridge Hospital in Lone Tree for 5 days before his doctor said that Sepsis (a life-threatening complication of an infection) was imminent. In his words, “The infection will kill him before the cancer has a chance” and recommended Home Hospice Care.

He came home on Monday, November 5. Taking care of him at home was both a blessing and a privilege. I never expected it to be the spiritual and loving process it was. At one point I thought “This is one of the best times of our lives together”. I am grateful for the degree of intimacy we shared over those 3 weeks. It was dotted with laughter as we progressed through this final journey. It was Jim’s wish that his body be donated to science, so it will be several weeks before he will be cremated according to his wishes.

In one of our recent discussions, I asked Jim if he was at peace. Unable to speak at the time, he put his hand over his heart and nodded. After he did that, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and comfort. I hope sharing this with you brings comfort to you as well. He would want that.

Take good care and love each other! Many blessings,

Cee aka Zany
"You don't have a soul, you ARE a soul. You have a body." ~ C.S. Lewis
 
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My heartfelt condolences, Cee. What a privilege that you had the opportunity to be there for each other during a journey no one wants to take. And thank you for that C.S. Lewis quote. It's something to remember. Hugs and prayers to you and your family.... Ev.
 
Cee, you have my deepest sympathy. Life changing is, I think, an understatement. I am glad you were able to be present and at peace with your husband during his last days. I am sure it was an incredible gift to him, as well as something you will be able to forever hold in your heart. Take time for yourself, and treat yourself well as you grieve this loss. *hug*
 
*hugs* My deepest sympathies.I recently went through losing my second mother almost like this myself. One thing I will point out is if at some point you feel relieved the ordeal (the final care) is over, do not feel guilty. You are not relieved they are gone, you're relieved they aren't suffering anymore. Hospice (home or institution) is a huge blessing and I'm glad they were able to help you. Hang in there.
 
Thank you for sharing the news of your husband's death with us, Cee. The way you talk about Jim, it's clear the two of you were close and loving partners. I'm glad you were able to share 44 years with him at your side.
 
Thank you all so much for your kind thoughts, advice, hugs, blessings and prayers -- all gratefully accepted -- and back atcha.

Today I felt a spiritual presence in the house -- like a guardian angel watching over me. I'm thinking it was all of you sending good wishes. It's true, I feel no guilt about being almost joyful that Jim was spared the brutal ravages of cancer. That would have been the hardest journey of all. But people do look at me like they think I'm crazy because I'm smiling when I share my news.

Taking care of myself is my Plan A... so far it's working. Trying to do everything that needs doing all in one day is off the page too. I made a To Do List today. I plan on crossing off one item each day and letting the rest go until later. It will all get done, but not all at once. The journey continues.
 
I don't know you guys and you don't know me but your story made me tear up, half wishing I could have some of that kind of love in my life, and the other half is plain happy that someone does have that kind of love in their life.

I don't think you're crazy; going through cancer with a loved one is one of the most horrible experiences ever and your husband being spared from it, I agree with you, is kind of a blessing.

Condolences to you, and I hope the rest of your years are also still full of love just like when your husband was physically still with you, because I'm sure you already know his love will always be with you :)
 

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