Kids say the darndest things

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Well-Known Member
Jan 9, 2008
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Ok, So I was reading on the brazilian wax post and was reminded of a very embarassing situation that happened to my cousin because of the things that kids say, so I thought I'd start a thread for y'all to post the things that you have heard kids say : Warning, these are actual things that kids have said and sometimes the things that kids say can unintentionally crude and inappropriate, which by the way makes them kind of funny.. here's mine:

My cousin always showered with his son to save water and electricity. At a huge holiday party my cousin's son announced out of the blue to every one "My daddy's pee pee haves a beard, I'm glad mine pee pee don't have a beard, that's gross"

My aunt Jane often had to leave her children alone while she went out. She taught them that if anyone ever called on the phone that the kids should say that she was in the shower and she'd call them back when she's done. One day the bishop from our church called looking for my aunt or uncle... she replied "They're in the shower" he then asked if he could speak to her grandmother who was living there at the time.. She replied: "um, She's in the shower too"

One of my sisters just had a baby three weeks ago, she also has a two year old son. After the baby was born she let her son Isaac hold the baby with the help of a pillow.. after few seconds, Isaac whined "He's Too big for me, he's too heavy, Can I get a smaller one?"

When my sister was 14 she came home from a dance and I asked her how it went.. she said it was fine but she would never dance with a certain boy again.. I asked her why, and she blurted out.. "because he kept putting is testicles all over me, and I finally had to tell him to keep his testicles to himself and he laughed at me, I hate him." I was reasonably sure that a boy at a church dance wasn't putting his testicles on people so I asked her to explain what happened, and she relayed to me how he had wandering hands and tried to touch her butt during a slow dance... I then had to explain to her the difference between a testicle and a tentacle. I've never let her live it down.
TOO FUNNY! Ok so my sister was trying to get her 3 year old into the tub. She turned to him and said "ok in the tub" to which he responded "I can't big bootie is in the way!"

She almost died! She was mortified... :lol:

my 4 year old grandson has a younger sister that has severe food allergies. especially to eggs so baked goodies are a rariety for him, unless he comes to stay with us. he really luvs donuts but like i said only gets then when he comes here to stay by himself.

we went to the local wesco gas station to get gas and a loaf of bread and they have this huge glass donut case right next to the register. he walks in throws his arms across the front of the case and smooshes his face right tight up there also and proclaims" holy **** grammie, look at all the donuts", i think i died and went to donut heaven. of coarse we got a few weird glances and a couple of snickers till i explained why he is was overly zealous with the donuts.

so of coarse the cashier felt sorry for him and gave him a free donut hole which she put in this rather large bag. he said thank you politely and as we're leaving he opens the bag, peers in and turns aroun with these huge sad eys and looks at the cashier and tells her this has to be the worlds smallest donut ever.
hahah! I love what kids say, they speak the truth from the heart :)
My five year old neice was showing me a big scrape she got on her knee. I said, "Oh, you got a booboo?" My neices eyes got really big, her hands quickly covered her chest, she shook her head emphatically, and said, "No, I don't!"

I discovered that to her "booboo" meant a female body part, while "owie" was the term I should have used.
when I was a kid...alright, got to set the setting...night time, Port Jeff New York... my mother and I took a trip to the Blockbuster video store (I didnt have cable for the longest time so the video store was it for me :)

remember that old commercial they had??

"Blockbuster video ....part of my life." or something like that, but i know that was the one line i remembered...well we went and rented movies, and I had to have been 8 or 9, maybe a little older at the time...I remember we were walking out the door and out of nowhere I had the urge to just sing that line, and belted it out as loud as I could!...'Blockbuster viideeeooooo part of my lifeeee!!" everyone looked up right away and started laughing histerically, I didnt know whether to be imbarassed or take a bow lol...

just thought id share that because Ive been thinking about it since this thread was posted!

Ian, Great story, something similar happened to me only I was much older and it was a much more embarassing jingle..

I was maybe 14 and shopping at the grocery store with my best friend to pick up a few things for her mother. We were just being teenagers going up and down the aisles picking out the stuff we needed and we were singing... It took us a WHILE to realize that we were singing the OB Jingle,

"O.B. it's the way it should be, Keep it simnple, And set yourself free, From the extras, That you really don't need, Just try O.B. and you'll see"
A couple of weeks ago the boys were in the shower. (They are 6 & 3, so can still get away with it. lol) They got cleaned up and then were playing in the tub. I went in to get them dried off and the oldest is telling the youngest to ask me. He was giggling, so I figured I was in for it. I asked what and he said "Why do we have bird eggs down there?" I was stumped, so I asked what he was talking about. So he proceeds to move his little "wienny" out of the way to show me-well, you get the picture. Then he tells me that I can feel the bird eggs. I had no idea what to say and just lost it. Then I got myself together and asked if they really thought they were bird eggs. The oldest said "They feel like those little blue bird eggs" so I went with it and asked how they thought the birds would get out once they hatched. There was total silence in that bathroom. I told them I was kidding and they both started laughing. No more questions have been asked...not sure what I will say next time?! :shock:
hahahha omg.... thats crazy !

hey it would be fun to sit down with an anatomy textbook with them and show them stuff! kids love learning :)

jules- yes that def. sounds a little more moritifying! lol
When my daughter was about 7 & my son was about 3, he streaked through the house. My daughter squeeled "Mom, make him put his utter away!"

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