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janzo

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Hi everyone, hope you are all ok and making lots of products. I have been off the grid for a while..... My mum was sick in January so I went over to see her in UK and a week later she died. It has been such a hard time dealing with the grief, sometimes it just overwhelms me without any warning, she was an amazing Mum and I miss her so much. Since being back home I seem to have lost my mojo and have not done any soaping, is this normal, I just can't get the motivation. I keep up to date on the forum and miss you all and your chatter, nice to see new members too xx
 

KristaY

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Hi janzo, glad to hear from you. I'm SO sorry to hear about your mum. I can't imagine the grief. Take care of yourself and your soaping mojo will return when the time is right. I read your avitar before your post and it's so true. I pray for a healing and peaceful heart for you on this journey. Pop in when you're able if you need to vent or just share in a laugh. Strength be with you and your family.
 

shunt2011

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Janzo, I'm so very sorry for your loss. What you are going through is completely normal. Take time to heal your heart. My prayers for you to find some comfort.
 

MySoapyHeart

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I am so sorry for your loss, janzo. Your avatar is spot on. Sending you good thoughts.
 

Susie

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I am so very sorry to hear of your loss! I don't care how old you are when one of your parents die, you feel like an orphan. Grief is an odd process. It is not straightforward like making soap. You go through the stages, and think you are done. You aren't. You get to go through some stages over and over until you are ready to pull your hair out. And it hits at the oddest times and for the oddest reasons. There is no planning around it. It comes when it comes, and goes when it goes. This is very frustrating for anyone that likes to be in control of their lives!

The best advice I can give you is to give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you feel that day. If you are angry, be angry! Write down why you are angry! It helps! If you are sad, be sad! Write down why! Writing it down helped me tremendously. I burned those notes at the end of every day so that I would not be tempted to go back and read them. Each day holds it's own unique grief. Do not borrow yesterday's grief for today by reading what you wrote then. That was then, this is now. It is OK to be angry about the same reasons as you were yesterday. Or whatever it is you are feeling today.

Just understand that eventually you are going to figure out how to live with a "mom-sized" hole in your heart. Not today, and tomorrow is not looking good, either. But eventually. Then there will come a day when you laugh. And you will feel guilty. Don't. Your mom would want you to laugh and be happy. So you will cry. And it will be the start of having a few happy tears for having a wonderful mom that equipped you for a happy life.
 

navigator9

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I'm so very sorry for your loss. When we lose our mother, it's a loss like no other we will experience, regardless of what kind of relationship we had. I lost my mother almost fifty years ago, and I don't think a day has gone by that I haven't thought of her and missed her. You'll always feel the loss, but you will get your mojo back. Give yourself some time and permission to grieve, until you are ready. My heart goes out to you.
 

janzo

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Thank you everybody for your kind words, they made me cry, but in a good way! I guess what they say is true, "time is a great healer". Thank you for letting me unload my grief on you all, it really helps.
 

dibbles

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I'm so sorry for your loss janzo. I think what Susie said is perfect.

It has only been a couple of months for you, that isn't much time. Be patient with yourself, and remember there isn't a 'normal' time frame for grief. The passing of time does help, and you will work out how to live your 'new normal' life.
 

Steve85569

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So sorry to hear of your loss. You will always remember Mum. The grief gets better as life goes on.
Every now and then I think " I should call Mom". I live in her house and she's been gone nearly 12 years now.

Maybe making a batch of soap in Mum's honor would help. I've kept several of mom's flower beds these years...

Steve
 

penelopejane

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Hi Janzo
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts are with you.
In my experience what Suzie said is exactly right.

It's not really a matter of time healing but just time giving you a chance to accept what has happened. Be gentle with yourself.
 

lenarenee

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Janzo,

The world just never felt safe again after losing my mother. I'm sorry for your loss. The rug has been pulled out from under you and it can take a while to find your footing. Take time to grief and honor her - come here and post memories, if you'd like - when it's the right time for you.

When you need to hole up, close the curtains and hide in your room - let yourself. Bring a good book, box of crayons and paper, watch old movies. But once in a while go out for ice cream, or a lovely park, visit the animals at the shelter....take care of yourself.

Let us know you're doing, too. We care. (((hug)))
 
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