is it just me?

[homegrownsoap]

I have been amazed at how wonderful everyone is here, and in my yahoo group. Anytime someone has a question, or a problem there is an outpouring of information to help that person, even though they might be the "competition" Because I am so luck to know such a great group of friendly, helpful people, i just assume that everyone that makes soap is the same way. This past weekend I went to a fair, it was a craft fair, but for knitters and such, not really soap, but there was ONE soap vendor, and his setup was really nice, and so were his soaps. So I went to check it out, sniff, touch, say hello, and when I told him I made soap too he said; "Well, do you make 150 different kinds of soap?" and i said no, and he went on to be snarky and rude, I tried to be polite and ask questions about this and that and he just got ruder, so I left him alone.
I just don't understand why someone would be so hateful to someone who enjoys and understands his craft. I get so excited about meeting people that do the same things that I do.
I don't know, I guess this is a bit of a rant, but I just had to tell someone.
AHH
Paige have a soapy day!

 

[NEASoapWorks]

People Are MEAN!

Paige,

People can be really mean, when it comes to crafting as a business. I honestly don't get it, and I probably never will.

I will say this, as gently as possible: When someone doesn't feel "important" enough, just because they're a human being, they seek that feeling of significance from accomplishments. They become WHAT they do, instead of just being WHO they are. Everything is about upstaging others, making sure they are the center of attention, and the best at EVERYTHING, all the time. Seems exhausting, but hey...

If someone comes along, who threatens their "position" — based on their very warped view of life in general, they can become antagonistic and mean-spirited. It's a knee-jerk reaction.

Now, some folks are very "sophisticated" with their defense mechanisms, but those of us who have some insight into human nature can spot em' and sometimes if you're like me, you'll choose to give them what they "need" to feel special — "Wow! You make 150 different soaps! Takes a lot of organization and research to do that!"...and keep steppin'. Don't spend too much time trying to get a shrew to be civil. Consider the source and move on.

It's not about "you" personally. Now, I can tell you some stories about being a "newbie" soapmaker, but let me just leave it at, "Folks have deep issues".

Now, I hope that helped you, cuz it sure helped ME!

 

[edco76]

You are nicer than me NEA. My response would have been more like

Him: "Do you make 150 kinds of soap?"
Me: "Who me? Heavens no. (slight pause)
Me: "I used to. But that was before I got serious about it" :evil:

 

[NEASoapWorks]

You are nicer than me NEA. My response would have been more like

Him: "Do you make 150 kinds of soap?"
Me: "Who me? Heavens no. (slight pause)
Me: "I used to. But that was before I got serious about it" :evil:

Yeah, sometimes it feels real GOOD to kick folks back, and I'm certainly not at the place, where I always respond in kind to evil people. But in a case like that, he obviously gets a LOT of his sense of self-worth from soapmaking, and that causes pity to rise up in me — more than attitude.

Nothing wrong with enjoying what you do, and being proud of mastering a particular craft. But I was fine, before "soapmaking" entered the picture, and I'll be fine if I never make another batch of soap, or if all future batches fail miserably, or if I never reach "Soap Diety" status. It's...soap. I never thought something that was designed to clean, could make folks so...nasty.

 

[dragonfly princess]

ED I would have done the same thing but I would have stuck my tongue out at him too :twisted:

NEA you are such a nice person, we need more people like you around, and less confrontational people like me :shock:

 

[NEASoapWorks]

Nice?

ED I would have done the same thing but I would have stuck my tongue out at him too :twisted:

NEA you are such a nice person, we need more people like you around, and less confrontational people like me :shock:

Not always. I'm human, and when folks strike at me, I can (and occasionally will) come back, like a "Psycho Ninja" — but praise GOD, more and more I just ignore and pray for people. Plus, my blog(s) allow me to "vent" and keep my sanity, while the offensive individuals get to keep their...teeth!

 

[dragonfly princess]

I can see the headlines in the Free Press: Psycho Ninja Soap Maker Woman strikes simple minded men DOWN!!!! hahahahaahahahahahahah
I crack myself up!!!!

 

[NEASoapWorks]

Yep!

I can see the headlines in the Free Press: Psycho Ninja Soap Maker Woman strikes simple minded men DOWN!!!! hahahahaahahahahahahah
I crack myself up!!!!

Yep. I'd be on the "Fox2 Hall of Shame". Thank the Lord!

 

[soapbuddy]

I can see the headlines in the Free Press: Psycho Ninja Soap Maker Woman strikes simple minded men DOWN!!!! hahahahaahahahahahahah
I crack myself up!!!!

That's a good one!

Irena

 

[Tabitha]

Him: "Do you make 150 kinds of soap?"
Me: "No but I can sh*t gold bricks, wanna see?"

Too funny, he was threatened by you, there is no other reason for that attitude.

 

[Soaptana]

~~NEASoapWorks~~

Great advice and insight...thanks for that! I myself cant figure out mean spirited people for the life of me....especially the petty stuff. And I think your response was more smart than nice.

 

[gbtreasures]

You should have very innocently "mentioned" that you were going to expand your basement soap business into a large scale factory based business that would employ 15 people, with emphasis on all natural soaps! You already have 5 steady employees working and still cannot keep up! I'll bet you a dollar he would have been the one to sh*t gold bricks on the spot!

 

[Guest]

Him: "Do you make 150 kinds of soap?"
Me: "No, I make 151 different kinds of soap" "Here is my card, and my address to my STORE, I dont have to do craft shows anymore, they just come to me"

 

[dragonfly princess]

Him: "Do you make 150 kinds of soap?"
Me: "No, I make 151 different kinds of soap" "Here is my card, and my address to my STORE, I dont have to do craft shows anymore, they just come to me"

and then could I smack him? I need to smack SOMEONE!!!!!

 

[Tabitha]

The funniest part about 150 soaps is, I *bet* it is the exact same soap bar but w/ a different scent. I know he does not do 150 dif recipes.

 

[homegrownsoap]

lol

Those are all great replies, I can never react very quickly, i end up thinking later about all the witty things i could have said! Oh well.
I think he might have had maybe 10 recipes, i'm not sure i didn't count. He has a really nice set up though, I must say I am jealous. Thats the way it goes.

 

[NEASoapWorks]

Re: lol

Those are all great replies, I can never react very quickly, i end up thinking later about all the witty things i could have said! Oh well.
I think he might have had maybe 10 recipes, i'm not sure i didn't count. But his prices were really really high, like 4x what mine are!
Does anyone want to see his website or would that be inappropriate? It would be really awkward if someone knew him, well if they liked him that is. paige

No, I don't need to see it. Yes, I think it's in poor taste, because he's just been slammed in this post. He may be a member here, or have friends here. Also, he's not alone, so there's no need to make an example of him, specifically. There are many just like him. You got a chance to vent (which is good), and received some great support and feedback. I would let it go.

 

[Tabitha]

Posting his name or a link would be in very bad taste and against forum rules. Venting is fine but a name or link would break forum rule number 1.

Please keep these rules in mind as you use our soap making message board:

1 - The Soap Making Forum will not tolerate obscene, racist or sexually explicit language. Personal attacks are not permitted. We reserve the right to remove posts that are abusive, hateful, or defame or insult anyone. We also reserve the right to remove message board posts that are off-topic or not in English.

 

[dragonfly princess]

We also reserve the right to remove message board posts that are off-topic or not in English.

Um......hmmmmm.....Tab weren't you speakin spanish the other day?

 

[homegrownsoap]

thanks

Thanks for that reminder Tab, sometimes I forget myself :-/