Frustrated & Embarrassed...

[busymammaof3]

So, I've vented to my husband. But he's soo incredibly laid back about everything...and doesn't really understand where I'm coming from with the online business...I decided to get on here and actually use the "General Discussion" forum for once! LOL

So, I've done a little bit of selling on ebay last year...and just recently started using Etsy. I had been working days and nights on my new business name, new logo, setting up the policies on the Etsy site, ect.
My laptop crashed and my mother has the exact same one with the Adobe PhotoShop software I also have...had...on mine...but would only be in town for a few days. Thus the reason why I was working such long hours on the business right now.

My aunt had emailed me saying she needed to reorder some facial moisturizer from me. So, after the 3rd day/night of finishing touches...I finally felt satisfied enough to add my 1st new listing. I put it on there for my aunt. I went to bed proud that all my hard work paid off...and that my aunt was going to make her order as my 1st customer on etsy.

I woke up the next morning realizing I had put the wrong amount on the listing. My aunt recognized it after she had made her order and emailed me about it. No big deal. She cancelled it and was going to wait for me to fix it so she could make her order again.

I fixed it, she made another esty purchase. And sent the money to my new PayPal account. I went on PayPal to accept the payment...but I forgot (what I get for working such long hours with little sleep) that I hadn't verified my bank account yet. So, when I went to accept her payment...It wouldn't let me. Told me that I couldn't accept payments until I verified my banking info. Well, I knew I couldnt do that yet. It takes 2-3 business days for PayPal to do that. The other button to choose said "Deny" but I wasn't paying attention and assumed it said "Continue" as my other choice to go back to the home page. NOPE. I realized very quickly when it gave me a confirmation page for denying my aunt's payment...what I had done. I couldn't redo it. So, I emailed her letting her know what all happened, how sorry I was and that I was working hard to fix it. That she wouldn't need to make another order. Just wait for my PayPal account to verify and then she could resend her payment (which only takes a few seconds to do). Her response (knowing how frustrated I was with myself already) was "Erin, I paid for mine and the payment was returned. This is getting kind of old. I'd just like to pay and get it over with, ok??" I replied apologizing profusely. And each time she resoponded with maybe 2 or 3 words max...each time...totally ignoring my explanations, how I'm working hard to fix it, and how sorry I am.

So, I am stressed. I hate that she's upset with me. I am trying my best. I kicked everyone off the computer all day to fix my screw ups. I'm trying to be humble and accept total responsibility for not have my **** in order. But I'm really frustrated that she went from all sweet and "take your time" to acting like this. :0(

Some nice 1st day with the new business name. etsy shop, etc. :cry:

 

[Jody]

Awww Erin. Big hugs from me. You would think that family would be more understanding. Is she very computer literate? Maybe she is just frustrated with the computer transaction and not you. Don't take it personally. I am sure she doesn't mean you. Once you get it all working slick you will wonder why you got frutrated. I know how it feels right now though. Been there and it makes you want to cry. Keep your chin up!!!!

 

[busymammaof3]

Awww Erin. Big hugs from me. You would think that family would be more understanding. Is she very computer literate? Maybe she is just frustrated with the computer transaction and not you. Don't take it personally. I am sure she doesn't mean you. Once you get it all working slick you will wonder why you got frutrated. I know how it feels right now though. Been there and it makes you want to cry. Keep your chin up!!!!

Thanks Jody. I appreciate that. I am hoping that's all she's frustrated at. I just wish she cuold atleast set my mind at ease after th 2nd or even 3rd time I said I felt horrible and am sorry. I finally, this last time she emailed me a bit ago...just went ahead and asked....welll said..."I hope you're not still frustrated with me. I'm trying my best to make it right." She probably won't tell me what i want to hear. She didn't the 1st 3 times. But at least I can go to bed knowing I did and said everything I could to make it right. It really is a silly mistake...and a simple one to fix. Just takes a few days of waiting. I just wish she saw it that way. *sigh*

Thanks for the chin up. I needed it. Been a horrible past week or so (our family publicly humiliated by the pastor/principal of our son's Christian school...had to pull him out...hubby was forced to take leave (possibly without disability pay-they're taking their sweet time to let us know...found out a dear friend died that same day...then today I read that 6 people from my home town (Huntsville, TX)...which I may know...died in a car crash in the city of my birth of all places (Roswell, NM) today or yesterday. Waiting to get names...and then this crap with my aunt and my shop. *sigh*

When it rains, it pours!

 

[Jody]

Have you EVER had a bad week. Just stay positive, girl. If it helps, spring is right around the corner. That makes everyone feel better. Hope my hug helped.

 

[busymammaof3]

Thank you Jody!

Have you EVER had a bad week. Just stay positive, girl. If it helps, spring is right around the corner. That makes everyone feel better. Hope my hug helped.

You're right. It's a time for new beginnings! And boy do I need one this year! LOL Yes! Your hug helped tons! It really did put a smile on my face. Thank you bunches! I needed it. ((((HUGS))))

 

[IanT]

lol id slip an extra bar or two in her package with a plaque that says first customer... thatll alleviate her sourness lol

 

[starduster]

Hey thats a lot on your plate kid

You are so stressed out Erin so the harder you try the more stressed and tired you will get.
What to do.
First of all I will say that when we get stressed we forget that the other person may be having a bad hair day themselves.
And she may , you don't know if she hasn't just had a big bill or bad news etc. her self.
Not that that helps much.
Also when we start to feel bad it is possible that we allow a sort of "kick me, I am while I am down" sort of essence to start to hang around us.
Yes you are having the worst do dady of a time. All those things are bound to hurt you. Lots and lots of people still love you heaps ,but tired , worn out and it is hard to remember that.
Ian is right about sending the parcel with that note and the extra and that is all she will remember.
Right now you need the strongest will in the world to take some time out.
Go to a funny movie or find some way of breaking this pattern now.
You know in 5 years time it will become a family story told with amazement and giigles so why not live that feeling now.
No more working late for you girl for quite a while.That is counter productive. So says big bad Mama Mary.
Right now ,the way I see it is for a short while your only priorities are to make sure the kiddies are fed , cleaned played and get enough sleep.
I am as old as the hills , we grandmas know these things.
So break it down to small bites.Do it moment by moment for 48 hours.
Watch your inner dialogue and just keep saying that Erin is the most danged creative , achieving fun person you ever did meet to your self.
See how that helps.

 

[IanT]

You are so stressed out Erin so the harder you try the more stressed and tired you will get.
What to do.
First of all I will say that when we get stressed we forget that the other person may be having a bad hair day themselves.
And she may , you don't know if she hasn't just had a big bill or bad news etc. her self.
Not that that helps much.
Also when we start to feel bad it is possible that we allow a sort of "kick me, I am while I am down" sort of essence to start to hang around us.
Yes you are having the worst do dady of a time. All those things are bound to hurt you. Lots and lots of people still love you heaps ,but tired , worn out and it is hard to remember that.
Ian is right about sending the parcel with that note and the extra and that is all she will remember.
Right now you need the strongest will in the world to take some time out.
Go to a funny movie or find some way of breaking this pattern now.
You know in 5 years time it will become a family story told with amazement and giigles so why not live that feeling now.
No more working late for you girl for quite a while.That is counter productive. So says big bad Mama Mary.

totally agree

itll be like one of those funny stories you tell at the fam reunion!! haha...


just keep on truckin, dont let anything stop you from accomplishing your goals, life throws challenges at you to motivate you... or break you, its your choice on which path to trod

 

[digit]

You have had a rough week. I think Starduster is right.............step back and take a deep breath. I know if I am frustrated, the harder I try, the more I mess up. Look in the mirror and remind Erin that she is a wonderful lady!!! (We all say so!) Tell her she is strong, bright, and gonna win no matter what. Nothing is going to keep her down.

Ian has a fab idea about putting the extra something in your aunt's order to thank her for her patience. That personal touch that let's them know they are not "just another order". Besides, next time she may increase her order to include that extra product.
I do hope everything smooths out very very quickly for you and your family. I will remember you and your family when I talk to the Big G later.

Digit

 

[Lindy]

Erin, I can`t add anything more than what has already been said. Take deep breath and remember how many people you have that are totally supportive of you. We`re all here for you....

 

[busymammaof3]

Thank you, Ian, Starduster, Digit & Lindy! You've got me crying happy tears...or purple puddles as "flylday" says. LOL Thank you :!:

She emailed me again today...after I said I hoped she wasn't still upset with me.

She said she had to study (she's in college). And she doesn't have enough time in the day. That she kept hitting a brick wall over and over.
I didn't realize she felt that way. I figured I was the one hitting that wall. But normally, I include her in everything...when I am trying to figure something out, or needing an opinion. She's been very instrumental in my business for the past year. So, her "This is getting old" comment took me by total surprise.

She never did apologize. But I can't say I shouldn't be use to it. My mother is exactly the same way. They aren't good in that area.

So, I took her "I get frustrated easily right now..." as an apology. And told her how relieved I was that she was feeling better about everything. That I am trying very hard. And asked for a gentle reminder the next time she's busy or has a lot on her plate...so I don't stress her out.

I wish I could add something special to her order...but I sent it back with my mother a couple days ago. Her and my father came home for a few days and turned right around and left for Arkansas again...to find work. So, she's probably already gotten her bottles of moisturizer. We're broke till the next pay day (praying Halliburton gives Teddy Disability pay - since the forced him to go home). Maybe I can make a small card, saying thank you and send it via snail mail. Since stamps are one thing I do have. LOL I will think of something. 8)

Thank you Starduster, for your advice. My cousin (who's a year older than me) has been telling me to slow down for sometime. ;0) I'm a good listener, huh?!

In all seriousness...you're totally right. We think I have Fibromyalgia. It runs in the family. But I can't afford to go to the specialist and get diagnosed/treated/ect. But that coupled with panic attacks...I have chronic insomnia. Luckily I'm on Xanax (which I should probably start actually taking when I'm suppose to lol) and my husband receives Tremadol (good quality pain killer use for Fibromyalgia amoung other things) from the VA clinic for his servic-connected disability....and those help (without the hangover of most drugs).

I need to start taking my medications more regularly...and make sure I allot a little time in the evening for me. I have a really bad memory. And I depend on my cell phone's appointment reminders and alarms for everything. LOL I had to purchase a new cell phone last month and haven't added my reminders and alarms to it yet. Probably would be a good idea to do that while it's on my mind.

You mentioned you are a grandma! :0) My FAVORITE kind of people! I was so jealous when my mom and dad left again...to go back up to the ozarks to work with my grandfather and uncle. I miss my Grandma Joyce!

LOL I come from a family of "busy" women. The biggest busy-bodies you'll find. I can see my mom now...going behind my grandmother...cleaning everything. Running around like a chicken w/it's head cut off. LOL

 

[Bigmoose]

Hi Erin, Sorry to hear of all your troubles. I hate to see bad things happen to good people. I have had a few downers myself but try to keep focused on the fact that grandchild #3 will be born in a week or two. Grand kids are the best!

Hang in there,

Bruce

 

[busymammaof3]

Thank You Guys!

Today, I am feeling much better about myself and the situation.
Pray I get a hold of the other new customer and can get her order straightened out with out any ill feelings getting involved! I have no other customers and DON'T want to lose this one!

 

[IanT]

family are hard customers to lose lol... theyre kind of bound to ya by blood

 

[busymammaof3]

Thanks, BigMoose!

Hi Erin, Sorry to hear of all your troubles. I hate to see bad things happen to good people. I have had a few downers myself but try to keep focused on the fact that grandchild #3 will be born in a week or two. Grand kids are the best!

Hang in there,

Bruce

Congrats! Thank you for the encouragement. I still have that email. And hope to use it soon. Thanks again!

 

[busymammaof3]

family are hard customers to lose lol... theyre kind of bound to ya by blood

Oh no, Sorry. I meant someone else. When I opened the etsy shop the other day, and listed my listing for my aunt...someone else (literally hours after it was pubic) order the same listing...but didn't read my policies on waiting for the invoice before submitting payment (for accurate shipping costs). Been trying to get ahold of her, with no luck so far. Hoping she'll check her email soon. :0/

In the meantime, I took the section in my payment policies about waiting for an invoice before submitting a payment...and pasted that to the welcome announcement on my homepage as well as at the top of every listing...before the actual description...from now on.

You live & learn. It sucks! But it's neccessary. :wink:

 

[starduster]

GRANDMA ? I swore !!!

[/b]Oh no !I said the Grandma word !
and Erin mirrored it back to me.
I have my grand kids call me Oma ,it doesn't conjure up as much age .
I just heard more grey hairs popping,wrinkles dropping... and other things.
I am going to need a lot of suport here.
Breathing in, breathing out. Come on , hand holding , big hugs, breathing in , breathing out. We can get me through this

 

[busymammaof3]

Re: GRANDMA ? I swore !!!

[/b]Oh no !I said the Grandma word !
and Erin mirrored it back to me.
I have my grand kids call me Oma ,it doesn't conjure up as much age .
I just heard more grey hairs popping,wrinkles dropping... and other things.
I am going to need a lot of suport here.
Breathing in, breathing out. Come on , hand holding , big hugs, breathing in , breathing out. We can get me through this

ROFL

You sound like my mother and her best friend. She sent me an email the other day asking for advice on a nickname...since she was NOT going to be called Grandma! LOL

*Holding hand* It'll be okay. Breathe in. Breathe out. :wink:

I needed a good laugh! thanks, Starduster. (((HUGS)))

BTW...My aunt emailed me again...and said she could see how it came across the way it did. And that it did sound rude the way she put it. Still no "I'm sorry." But it's a good second. LOL So, that made me a happy camper. I can let that one roll off now and not worry myself sick about it.

Can ya tell I have an "Approval Addiction" (as Joyce Meyr would put it)?

 

[starduster]

Forward

you will grow much older and much more wrinkled than me if you are waiting for appologies from everyone that you think owes you one.
On ward and upward, never look back , unless of course you have dropped a bar off chocolate anf need to retrieve it.

 

[IanT]

awwww....

o.k. im not going to go all psychologist on ya here (because thats what my degree is in)... but i feel ya!


glad it all worked out!!!!

how does that work with approval invoice and all that stuff?