Discouraged and heartbroken

[SoapAddict415]

I hope this is ok to post. My oldest son is getting married next month [emoji1]. He, his fiancee & my youngest son live in Arizona. I haven't seen my sons in 3 years. My middle son is here in Michigan with me but I don't get to see him nearly as much as I'd like. I REALLY miss my boys. My oldest son is SO excited! The closer we get to the wedding date, the more he talks about being happy to see me when I come to visit [emoji16].
I'm discouraged because I've had a year to save up for the wedding but we've had 1 financial setback after another. We were nearly homeless 2 years ago and we've been working hard to get back on our feet. What little I had managed to save had to cover our bills when DH lost his job a few months back. He started working again last month. We thought that having a second income again, we could catch up on our bills and still make the trip. It would be cutting things close but we'd plan to file early and use our tax refunds for the trip too. It would be our first vacation together [emoji16]. Well, due to an "accounting error" DH's first check was shorted a week's pay. Because I couldn't afford healthcare last year, the Obamacare act took nearly half of my refund. Due to our financial situation, I defaulted on my student loan & today I found out that the Feds took the rest of my refund as payment. It seems like every time we start to get ahead, something knocks us back 6 yards [emoji20]! I'm so terribly heartbroken that I can't seem to stop crying because now I have to tell my son that I can't afford to come to his wedding.

 

[Laurabolyard]

OH MY GOODNESS!! Thats a LOT to deal with... I'm so sorry. When is the wedding exactly? Is there still time for miracles?

 

[SoapAddict415]

The wedding is March 28th. I like to believe that there's always time for miracles. I'm frustrated because every time I start making progress, there's a setback. If it were anyone else's wedding, I'd have said forget it by now.

 

[toxikon]

Aw I'm so sorry, that sounds terrible. Maybe if you let your son know you're struggling he'll help you find a way to make it happen.

 

[Misschief]

In the meantime, I'm praying for a miracle.

 

[cmzaha]

This is no where near my business and I am sorry to hear about what is happening to you. But if there is a wedding planned can't your son and future daughter in law get together and fly the 2 of you out to Arizona? Weddings cost considerable and it could become some of the wedding cost or they could cut back on something, such as if a limo is going to be rented forgo it and use their own cars. If it were my parents I would do everything I could to get them there. We my hubby and I married over 40 years ago we had to fly a family member out from Michigan. Losing jobs and short pay checks are hard to deal with, I know because I have a daughter that deals with the same thing. Her husband was just shorted a healthy amount on his pay check, this seems to be the norm in some industries this day and age. Although being illegal for an employer to do such they take the chance, after all, who is going to file complaints against them and risk losing their job.... sorry I got off on another direction.

Hopefully they can come up with some help and get you there

 

[Laurabolyard]

I have faith!! You should, absolutely, be there!! Tell him asap, get it off your chest and work with him to find a solution. Easy to say, I know, but you'll start feeling better and be able to move forward when you tell him.

 

[SoapAddict415]

Thank you everyone for your encouragement, comments & suggestions. You've helped me to feel a little better. I'm not sure if my oldest son will be able to help me but I guess that's why God blessed me with 2 more [emoji1]. I'm sure I can ask them for help. Asking for help is just very hard for me to do. Lol, not asking for help is the one thing DH always fusses at me about.

 

[Steve85569]

Go fund me.
You have not because you ask not.
It is better to ( be able to) give than to receive.
Don't give up 5 minutes before the miracle happens.

I have been on both ends. It is humbling to need to ask but always encouraging to see what God does. I'm not where I am today because I did everything right. I'm here because He did and does.

 

[SoapAddict415]

[emoji16][emoji1] thank you Steve85569! That was motivating!

 

[earlene]

The grandmother of my husband's nephew got a fabulous deal for a bus ticket on https://us.megabus.com/

We were at the wedding last April and she (the grandmother) was very very happy with megabus. In fact she said she had used it before and will continue to use it for affordable transportation to visit distant family and friends.

 

[Millie]

You'll get to your son's wedding! I remember feeling proud the first time my parents asked me for help, like I was finally grown up. Whenever they ask for help I get a wash of greatfulness for everything they have done for me, all the sacrifices it took for them to raise a family. And I know they are still there to help me when I need it. I think your sons will pull together to get you to the wedding, and be happy to help. Best wishes!

 

[IrishLass]

Praying for God to make a way where there seems to be no way!


IrishLass

 

[SoapAddict415]

Thank you Millie & Irish Lass. Thanks for the link Earlene.

 

[Saponificarian]

In the meantime, I'm praying for a miracle.

I join my faith with yours for a miracle.

 

[Zany_in_CO]

 

[svanhild-anita]

this might sound far out but have you considerd hitch hiking. modern teknology has made this a lot safer. i use to text the licens nr to a friend and the one time i got in to truble i showed the driver the text and he let me of at the next gas station. after that i kept texting the licenc nr to my friend but insted of standing by the side of the road i would talk to People at gas stations and truk stops and ask for a ride and most People feel safer letting you in to theyre car if they have talked to you first and you get a feel for them to. if you are two People traveling together ewen better. also long transport trukdrivers sometimes like the Company so going to a transport Company on the day youre traveling workes well at least in europe. ore craigslist. just use the phone trik and its pritty safe.

 

[jewels621]

Praying for you, SoapAddict.....I have 3 sons, as well, and can’t imagine not seeing them, especially for such an important event in their lives. Please let us know if you do set up a gofundme page.

 

[lsg]

Is your vehicle sound enough to make the trip? It would certainly take longer than flying, but it would be cheaper? If you are a church member, you might ask for help through your pastor. It is amazing how church families will work together to help someone in need.

 

[dibbles]

I'm so sorry for your difficulties. The link earlene gave you for megabus is worth looking into. I haven't used it, but my daughter has and was happy with it.

When my daughter was planning her wedding, my dad was ill and failing. We weren't sure if he would be able to be there, but had a contingency to set up a laptop with a Skype connection so he could at least see it that way. Fortunately, he was still well enough to go to the wedding. I'm sure something will work out for you so that you can be at your son's wedding, but I thought I'd add this to the discussion so that there is still 'something' if the absolutely worst case happens and you can't get to the wedding.