Cranky about people asking for legal advice

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I'm the spouse of a lawyer who is also a magistrate ... I have to say being hounded for free advice will never stop as long as you are in the public eye as a practicing lawyer.

We rarely go to restaurants or social events without someone coming up to Chuck and wanting to talk about some legal issue. There is no good way to turn it off as long as you want to be perceived as someone who wants paying clients. It's kind of a form of advertising I suppose, although it would be nice if people would have the kindness to wait until after the meal was over rather than imposing their tale of woe onto our enjoyment of a perfectly cooked prime rib.

OTOH no one wants to pick MY brain about the latest engineering problem that's troubling them. I can't imagine why my expertise is so taken for granted, so I sometimes feel mildly resentful being pushed into the conversational background. :)

Mostly I've gotten used to it.
 
I'm the spouse of a lawyer who is also a magistrate ... I have to say being hounded for free advice will never stop as long as you are in the public eye as a practicing lawyer.

We rarely go to restaurants or social events without someone coming up to Chuck and wanting to talk about some legal issue. There is no good way to turn it off as long as you want to be perceived as someone who wants paying clients. It's kind of a form of advertising I suppose, although it would be nice if people would have the kindness to wait until after the meal was over rather than imposing their tale of woe onto our enjoyment of a perfectly cooked prime rib.

OTOH no one wants to pick MY brain about the latest engineering problem that's troubling them. I can't imagine why my expertise is so taken for granted, so I sometimes feel mildly resentful being pushed into the conversational background. :)

Mostly I've gotten used to it.

Well I know your knowledge is highly regarded here, that's for sure. If I ever have and engineering need you'll be my first source.
 
I think it happens in most professions. I am an herbalist (I facilitate people healing with herbs.) There is a real need for people to share knowledge and build community by helping each other. I am fortunate to be able to share my experience.
 
Weirdly no one has ever asked me for help with their 'marine biology' problems. However when people ask what I do they look really interested for about two seconds until I start explaining it, then they just switch off and stare at me blankly.
 
Hahaha you too?
My favorites are:
"I just love the whales" (so do I, with bbq sauce)
"You go to sea for weeks at a time? It must be sooooo romantic" (yes, if you define "romantic" as being inside a loud metal barrel with crazy people and no decent coffee)
"I find the ocean sooooo spiritual" (yeah well I find that a lot of it smells bad)
"Oh youre just joking about the smells - OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!!!"
"I've heard that the radiation from Fukushima has contaminated all the fish in the oceans with radiation so now I just eat 100% pure vegan carpet lint" (yeah well you better stop flying, you can get an x-rays worth of radiation in one long flight)
I did my masters thesis on Halibut - I still get stabbity when someone says "just for the halibut?"
Weirdly no one has ever asked me for help with their 'marine biology' problems. However when people ask what I do they look really interested for about two seconds until I start explaining it, then they just switch off and stare at me blankly.
 
I did my masters thesis on imposex in dog whelks lol, that's a real conversation ender.

I have never been on a cruise, too sea sick, but I wonder if you know any of old colleagues (I don't work any more) seawolfe. Do you ever work with European scientists?
 
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OH wow Id be the one glomming onto you at the party :) whelks are cute - our Kellets Whelks are laying eggs all over the place in our tanks right now.

I do occasionally work with European and South American scientists at my main job or when I rarely do cruises on the big research vessels. But usually I'm stuck on container ships, or working on so Cal coastal stuff.

I did my masters thesis on imposex in dog whelks lol, that's a real conversation ender.

I have never been on a cruise, too sea sick, but I wonder if you know any of old colleagues (I don't work any more) seawolfe. Do you ever work with European scientists?
 
Yeah! My dissertation was on the dissipation of herbicides in cropland soil. And a lot of my time before that was spent working in industrial wastewater treatment. Talk about glazed eyeballs. Simply not stuff for casual conversation over dinner. :rolleyes:
 
I learned a new word... "stabbity"... I shall use this daily!!! :)

I'm a food and bev manager at a hotel. People just ask me to get them free stuff...free nights at a hotel, free attraction tickets, free meal coupons, free concert tickets...and when I tell them I don't get stuff like that, they actually accuse me of hoarding them for myself....which I do...lol...but don't tell anyone...
 
Yeah! My dissertation was on the dissipation of herbicides in cropland soil. And a lot of my time before that was spent working in industrial wastewater treatment. Talk about glazed eyeballs. Simply not stuff for casual conversation over dinner. :rolleyes:

Lol - I work in construction and we build a lot of wastewater treatment plants. We visit them often too. I find myself learning more than I want about the subject, for sure!
 
I have an interest in microbiology deeanna and my masters is in aquatic ecotoxicology, so I would have picked your brains at a party. You me and seawolfe could be the geeks in the corner ;)
 
I would really like that! It would be fun to have a geeky (and soapy) hen party with you! I have a few women friends that I can have that kind of conversation with, but I don't enjoy this pleasure very often.
 
This is *totally* not soap related. I just have had several random people lately (neighbors usually) ask me for free legal advice, and it does make me cranky. For the most part I would never just say "here's your answer, take it and run with it", usually if they are asking it is for something that I would have to do research on, or they want me to write a letter or file something for them. And you know, I just don't want to do that unless it is for family and friends. Not to mention malpractice issues if I am wrong (hey, I'm not the expert on everything legal under the sun, part of why lawyers and doctors are expensive is that if things go wrong they can go *very, expensively* wrong.)

I would never (eg) ask sellers here for their best soap recipe, I know that is the result of a lot of time and work. My sister (a doc) gets this, too nearest notary public. We both spent an awful lot of money and time acquiring certain skills, it is kind of crazy to me that people don't get that.

I guess I am feeling grizzly and as if I am being mean-spirited, no one wants to be that.
It's completely understandable to feel frustrated when people ask for free legal advice. Your time, expertise, and the potential risks involved in providing advice are all valuable. It's important to set boundaries and politely decline when necessary to protect yourself and your professional integrity. You're not being mean-spirited; you're simply recognizing the value of your skills and the importance of maintaining boundaries in your profession.
 

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