I would try a different recipe. It is going to be just like store bought shampoo...in that some will work better on your hair than others. I just don't think you have found the right recipe for your hair.
I was just reading a post on a different board, about a fragrance oil totally ruining a batch, and there were tons of replies saying that lots of them, even if they claim to be safe for soap, cause huge problems.
I agree...if you are more comfortable doing it the old way, I am sure if it worked before it will work now. I think most people sort of have their own system they use, and everyone does it slightly different.