I'm feeling like a rant

Arimara said:

Is it too much trouble to clean the stupid car out after having pets in there? How about even getting a sheet or something to cover the seats?

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It is certainly not. If the rules of the of the car share stipulate that pets should be crated, then is incumbent on the participants to adhere to those rules. I understand not being able to crate your dogs if they are larger. However, if they cannot abide by the terms of service...then they should not be utilizing it. Rules or not, it is common courtesy to leave shared items or spaces in the condition that you found them.

gdawgs said:

A few things that amuse me about pet owners who don't understand what severe allergies are like.

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I actually really appreciate you taking the time to share this. I am one of those crazy pet owners that tries desperately to be courteous...but may not get it. That being said, I'd like to explain (but not excuse) the bone-headed assumptions that I may have been guilty of.

gdawgs said:

1) When going to someones house and they find out you have allergies and they say "we'll put the dog outside, or in the back room". It's a nice gesture, but it doesn't make a bit of difference. The dander is everywhere, so it's just a matter of time before I'm done(usually 15-30 minutes if I'm not on meds).

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Like dixiedragon, I view this as common courtesy and like TersaT, I do so when ANYONE comes over because my dogs can't imagine that the "company" is not there for their own adulation and entertainment. I have managed to teach the beasts to be respectful and not to jump, but am not quite sure how to imbue them with nonchalance. Much like a little kid determined to show off newly learned skills (but mind-numbingly boring to anyone not biologically driven to take pride in their mundane accomplishments) my dogs will try to show off their favorite (chewed ragged and slobber coated) toys or display their prowess by treating the living room floor as a WWF ring (which looks and sounds more like UFC to first-time spectators). Allergies or not, it's a knee-jerk reaction to put them out of site and out of mind.

gdawgs said:

2) "Oh, I have animal allergies too". And you own a dog(or cat)?? No, you don't have allergies then(or at least they are very mild).

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I agree that their allergies are clearly mild compared to yours, but they are still allergies. Furthermore, I would not get that defensive as it is really just an attempt to connect. It's similar to when people with kids are offended by those with pets correlating the two in a conversation. The "pets" person understands that the two are not the same thing, but sharing similar experiences is a way to connect. There is no need to denigrate, undermine, or shut down their attempt to find common ground just because it is not equivalent.

gdawgs said:

3) "Our dog doesn't shed, so you probably won't be allergic to it". Doesn't matter, it's the dander that's the problem.
4) "My dog is hypoallergenic, so you won't be allergic to it". I hear this all the time, and I've yet to find one that I'm not allergic to, including various terriers, poodles, maltese, shih tzu, etc. Some are definitely worse than others though. For me, Golden retrievers and labs are the worst.

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There are specific breeds that are sold as hypoallergenic and that do work for many people with allergies. The most public example that I can think of is the Obamas. Their children's allergies are the reason that they have Portuguese Water Dogs. I think that it is entirely reasonable for someone to reassure you...and just as important for you to state that you wish it were that easy. Clearly, your allergies are on the dangerous end of the spectrum and a joking comment can easily make your point. "I would love to come over, but would rather spend my ER co-pay on a Michelin-rated meal. How about dinner out instead?"

gdawgs said:

5) When people come to visit from out of town and they ask if they can bring their pets. I say, sure, but it can't set foot in our house. It can stay out in the garage if it's in a carrier, but if not, it needs to stay outside. Then I get the feeling that they think I'm a heartless monster. :smile:

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I am occasionally this person. I have three dogs (all foster-fails) and board when needed. However, there are times when it is simply impractical. On Thanksgiving and Christmas, I drive 250 miles each way in a single day ensuring that I am away from home for sixteen hours. This is way too long to confine my dogs in the house and I am not one to leave them out when I am not home. The boarding facilities go on a wait list by August for those dates. I could easily make reservations on January 1. However, they also have a minimum stay of five days on the holidays. It is not cost-efficient for them to book a single day that negates their ability to provide for all those leaving town for a week or more. The cheapest boarding available is still about $40/day/dog with tax and 30 minutes drive if there is no traffic. That means that visiting my family for one day (no overnight) on Thanksgiving and Christmas would cost me roughly $1200 and tack on at least a couple of hours in drive time. I could justify it if I shopped for Christmas at gas stations

That being said, they are MY dogs and MY problem. My dog-hating, 98 year-old grandmother allows me to crate them in a back bedroom for the holidays and I am thrilled. Furthermore, I try to ensure that she is completely unaware of their presence (no trotting them out to show off any perceived cuteness on my end, just discreetly disappearing to take them out to exercise or potty outdoors). If you offered me the option of crating the dogs in the garage, I would jump on it (assuming that it is not as sweltering there as it is here right now). When any courtesy is extended, I usually volunteer to treat at a nice restaurant as I am still coming out way ahead financially.

My, admittedly long-winded, point is that anyone should be incredibly grateful for the options that you provided. Neither are necessary and allergies aside, it is your home. You get to dictate the parameters of what occurs there. It is no more unreasonable to deny someone's pets access than it is to expect them not to smoke inside.

I often find that peoples' response is not dictated so much by what is said as how it's stated. If I ask the significant other to stop at Whole Foods on the way home and he says, "No", we are likely to have a mother of a fight. (How dare he take such an authoritarian/patriarchal position with me.) If instead, he says "Is it really necessary? I want to get to bed early and there always seems to be a line to rival Six Flags when we are in a hurry." my agreement is a given. (Am I alone in this?)

Maybe saying something along the lines of, "You are more than welcome to bring the dogs, but I can only offer the garage if they are crated or the yard if they aren't. My family has severe pet allergies and it's hard to have a conversation when my throat swells shut. If you ever become allergic to my kids, I promise to make them pitch a tent in your yard."

Once again, I really appreciate you taking the time to enlighten me as I do have people in my sphere with allergies of all kinds and try to be conscientious. I avoid using nut based oils on my butcher blocks even though I do not currently have anyone with nut sensitivities. Everyone is having kids and I make new friends regularly; why risk permanently adulterating those surfaces? I am still probably oblivious to my own missteps because the term "allergies" covers such a wide spectrum and is so individualistic. I certainly know people who often set my concerns aside with statements like, "I'll just pop an antihistamine." It's important that someone with severe allergies inform me so that I can detail the car or dress in the closet with freshly laundered clothes and touch nothing in my house before meeting them. I am totally willing to jump through whatever hoops I need to, but cannot do so if I am oblivious.

Thanks for making me a little less ignorant.

Thanks, all. I only took the benedryl because it was the only thing I had immediately available and fast acting. My daughter's Zyrtec would not have been much better for me and my Claratin was expired. If I had tried to go to the drugstore for it, I'm fairly certain I would have been taken to hospital a few blocks over. I saw myself in the mirror 20 min ago- rough to look at.

I didn't got to Urgent Care, my losing my wallet is the cherry on top of all this.

Arimara said:

Thanks, all. I only took the benedryl because it was the only thing I had immediately available and fast acting. My daughter's Zyrtec would not have been much better for me and my Claratin was expired. If I had tried to go to the drugstore for it, I'm fairly certain I would have been taken to hospital a few blocks over. I saw myself in the mirror 20 min ago- rough to look at.

I didn't got to Urgent Care, my losing my wallet is the cherry on top of all this.

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I hope you feel better soon! Keep in mind that Claratin and Zyrtec are similar medications, or they work the same way (as told to me by several doctors) so you don't want to double up on them(e.g. taking Zyrtec in the morning, Claratin at night)
I saw a TV show once, I think it was 20/20 or 60 minutes, or a show similar where the military did a study on drug expiration dates. They tested drugs that were I believe 10 years past the exp date, and found that the vast majority were still fine, especially pills. There are some that expire, especially liquids, but most likely your Claratin will be fine. Most expiration dates on drugs are there because it's required by the FDA, not necessarily because the drug goes bad then.

Benadryl is as good as anything you can buy OTC, if not better. Most people, myself included(and you, just can't function if taken during the day. Sure helps sleeping at night though.

A good cocktail that works well for me that was suggested by a doctor is Zyrtec/Claratin in the morning, Allegra at night, and then Flonase either morning or night. When things get really bad, I'll also take Benadryl at night.

If you don't get better soon, you may have to go in and get some prednisone to bring you down.

I'm just trying to get my cards out of the way. I can't really buy anything until I at least get my bank card. I realize they are similar but with Claritan, I don't get that annoying dry mouth that I do with Zyrtec. I also like that is has considerably less ingredients in it. Allegra would take a few days to register with me.

Im kind of surprised the car company doesnt have pet seat covers like these in the trunk for pet owners to use (and put the crates on top of). Would keep the car clean, save a lot of wear and tear, and could be rolled up and put in the trunk afterwards.
https://www.amazon.com/BarksBar-Original-Seat-Cover-Cars/dp/B019EOQ6AK/ref=zg_bs_3024184011_1

Seawolfe said:

Im kind of surprised the car company doesnt have pet seat covers like these in the trunk for pet owners to use (and put the crates on top of). Would keep the car clean, save a lot of wear and tear, and could be rolled up and put in the trunk afterwards.
https://www.amazon.com/BarksBar-Original-Seat-Cover-Cars/dp/B019EOQ6AK/ref=zg_bs_3024184011_1

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For car sharing, it's up to you to have such items. Garage attendants have their hands full managing other people's cars on top of a companies. I'd have to bring my daughter's booster if I took her for a drive (not happening anytime soon). The regular car rental companies (Alamo, Budget, Enterprise, etc) may or may not offer that (I don't know because I'd prefer to have my own carrier or crate).

makemineirish said:

I am occasionally this person. I have three dogs (all foster-fails) and board when needed. However, there are times when it is simply impractical. On Thanksgiving and Christmas, I drive 250 miles each way in a single day ensuring that I am away from home for sixteen hours. This is way too long to confine my dogs in the house and I am not one to leave them out when I am not home. The boarding facilities go on a wait list by August for those dates. I could easily make reservations on January 1. However, they also have a minimum stay of five days on the holidays. It is not cost-efficient for them to book a single day that negates their ability to provide for all those leaving town for a week or more. The cheapest boarding available is still about $40/day/dog with tax and 30 minutes drive if there is no traffic. That means that visiting my family for one day (no overnight) on Thanksgiving and Christmas would cost me roughly $1200 and tack on at least a couple of hours in drive time. I could justify it if I shopped for Christmas at gas stations

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Have you looked into a pet sitter for those long days away from home? I'm a pet sitter and what I do is go to the person's house to take care of their animals - be that a quick potty break for a puppy while people are at work, or a 2-week vacation during which I make multiple trips to the home each day to feed/water/exercise the animals. It can be expensive when you start looking at multiple 30-minute visits per day for weeks on end, but I find many people prefer to pay me to come to their home instead of put their animals in a kennel. And for a single day, even a holiday (I do not, but most pet sitters charge a holiday fee on top of their normal fee) it would not be too prohibitive. And you would have peace of mind about your dogs and about the family who may not like them around on crowded holidays. You may have thought about having a neighbor or friend come in to do this and rejected the idea because hey, it's their holiday too, but I assure you that pet sitters work ALL holidays, and in fact holidays are our mainstay as everyone wants to go out of town to visit family. Just a thought!

(sorry for the hijack Arimara! Hope your feeling better by now! )

Guspuppy said:

Have you looked into a pet sitter for those long days away from home? I'm a pet sitter and what I do is go to the person's house to take care of their animals - be that a quick potty break for a puppy while people are at work, or a 2-week vacation during which I make multiple trips to the home each day to feed/water/exercise the animals. It can be expensive when you start looking at multiple 30-minute visits per day for weeks on end, but I find many people prefer to pay me to come to their home instead of put their animals in a kennel. And for a single day, even a holiday (I do not, but most pet sitters charge a holiday fee on top of their normal fee) it would not be too prohibitive. And you would have peace of mind about your dogs and about the family who may not like them around on crowded holidays. You may have thought about having a neighbor or friend come in to do this and rejected the idea because hey, it's their holiday too, but I assure you that pet sitters work ALL holidays, and in fact holidays are our mainstay as everyone wants to go out of town to visit family. Just a thought!

(sorry for the hijack Arimara! Hope your feeling better by now! )

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No worries about hijacking. I'm not quite feeling better but with a lost wallet, I might suck it up and try to go anyway as soon as I can.

Guspuppy said:

Have you looked into a pet sitter for those long days away from home?

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I have looked into pet sitting as I would love to have a standard default solution, but have not managed to find one that makes sense. I am sure that you are an intelligent, capable, sane person who is experienced with animals and qualified. However, I have found that pet sitting is one of those gigs for which almost anyone can hang a shingle.

Hiring a pet sitter involves a fairly high level of trust, not only that they will show up when scheduled to care of "my" kids, but that they will be adhere to the idiosyncrasies of being in my home. I do not mean that to sound suspicious or paranoid. It's just that the significant other has research projects that require strict handling procedures. While it is easy to simply ask they stay out of the room, there is nothing so enticing as a shut/locked door. Everyone starts picturing some "red room of pain" and just has to peer in. While there is not a whip or chain in sight, the eerily lit tanks and terrariums invite further investigation.

More importantly, if there is anytime that my house is in absolute chaos, its the holidays. The kitchen looks like a bomb went off for Thanksgiving and my living room is madness for Christmas. I usually prep food or wrap presents right up until the deadline with the plan to clean after the holiday and a good night's sleep. While the pet sitter may not judge me, I do. Trying to fit a day of cleaning in to avoid feeling shamed might break me.

Another hiccup for me is that my neighbor has fence-aggressive dogs. My solution has been to implement a yard schedule in which we text if we need to deviate. I know it sounds crazy, but it works for us. Our dogs are not out simultaneously and neither I nor the neighborhood have to endure the cacophony that ensues if her dogs catch sight of mine. Taking care of the "kids" at my house requires a level of instruction that borders on neurotic.


Good help is hard to find. The last pet sitter I met was in the course of some volunteer work. I agreed to trap some feral cats at her apartment complex to be neutered and vaccinated (long and ridiculous back story). Renee seemed normal at first. She spent three hours expounding on her symbiotic "energy" and telepathic communication with animals...and proceeded to try feeding the deer my leftover sardines from baiting the traps. I am pretty sure the deer and I had some telepathic communication about that:Kitten Love:!

If you have someone to recommend in Austin, I am all ears. In the meantime, I have managed to come up with a hodgepodge of bizarre alternatives.